What I Learnt From My Keanu Kerfuffle

I stumble across news my fave living writer, James Ellroy is working on a new film called The Nightwatchman. Then I read Keanu Reeves is going to play the lead role. Keanu as me?

Gold.

Two celebratory postings later, The Nightwatchman Movie: The Good News And The Bad News and Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment? and I move on to things a little more interesting like plugging my friend, Nick Jones' book sculptures to Neatorama

Neatorama link here to The Nightwatchman and wahey, if about six hours 100 people come here to check out his stuff.

For a smalltime blogger bloke like me, this is a top result. Links from bigger sites like Neatorama are rare and only when I send an email update to friends I get over 100 visitors in the day. It's taken quite a lot of hard work to get the almost 700 regular visits I get monthly.

Then on Sunday morning the visitor statistics exploded.

500 freakin' visitors in eight hours.

And they ALL came to read Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment? - which was posted on the front pages of Keanuweb, Club Keanu and a couple other fansites.

With over 2000 fans visiting my site in only three days, my newfound attention hasn't been totally bodacious.

Here's what I've learnt...

Keep an eye on your comments bit.
See here and here. Some of my readers' comments could have landed me into a huge defamation suit.

Spell out what other sites can and can't do with your content.
While they meant well, a few fansites cut'n'pasted my entire stories onto their sites without proper attribution. Merely stating your site runs on a Creative Commons license doesn't quite cut it.

Stick with what you're good at.
If I wanted to get thousands of visitors a day I could turn this into a fully fledged celebrity site. But that's not what I dig.

From looking at my visitors' clicking behavior I can say that people who come through the quick celebrity route only look at the one story they're after then they get the hell out. Keanu fans did just that while visitors who came via Neatorama looked at over three other pages per visit.

Get a better web counter.
Until this weekend Statcounter's been perfect. Its big flaw is that you can only check out visitor behavior for the last 100 page impressions. Want more and you have to pay them. Lucky I was saved by installing the new Google Analytics thingy last week.

Fame and celebrity is fleeting.
Keanuweb, the site which brought me all these thousands of visitors disappeared off the side of the earth yesterday. Yes, that's right. I'm back to 25 visitors a day.

I wonder what would happen if a really big site like Boing Boing linked to me?

An Apology

Keanu Reeves yesterday.

NeatOrama! That's What He's Building In There!

A big 'ello to all who've come here from the wonderful popart culture site, Neatorama to check out Nick Jones' olden day book sculptures.

As I've said previously, Melbourne sculptor, Nick Jones has been making pretty thingies out of old books for the ten years I've known him.

Some old PR guff reckons...

Using a compendia of old books and pamphlets found in the bins of the University of Melbourne library, he creates an archaeology of texts that presents a nostalgic view of 1950s and 60s literature regarding Australia and the world. Combining elements of chance and modern design, the works resemble a sculptural form of concrete poetry that create a new perspective on the past.

Details of a more recent Jones exhibition than the one spoke about earlier this year can be found at the Linden Centre of Contemporary Arts site.

Thanks NeatOrama!

Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment?

On reading that Keanu Reeves is to play the lead role in the new James Ellroy film, The Nightwatchman, I thought I’d better have another look at the man, the actor and Renaissance Poet.

First, he cops a lot of flack about Bill & Ted’s Whatever Adventure. But other than that he’s appeared in over 40 movies. He’s got to be more than an alright actor if they keep asking him back.

And there’s a lot of you out there who love The Matrix movies. Me? Couldn’t understand the first one. Maybe I was having a bad brain day but nothing’s going to get me back there.

I think Tony Curtis summed it up in Sweet Smell of Success, “That’s yesterday’s fish. And I’m not buying it.”

He also cops a bunch of flack over his musical career with his band Dogstar and that other band he had with Johnny Depp and The Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes.

In the late 1990’s Dogstar toured Australia. Their tour support was indeed your friend and mine, Jeff Samin’s rock’un’roll band, Musket. I’ve heard nothing but positive road stories about that tour. But I’m afraid I can’t tell you any. What happens on the road, stays on the road.

According to Wikipedia:

He was born in Beirut, Lebanon.

Unlike many actors of today, Reeves is known to defer salaries if it means getting another actor for the film. He deferred his salary for The Devil's Advocate so Al Pacino could be cast, and The Replacements for Gene Hackman.

He is reportedly fond of chess, motorcycles, ice hockey, and plays a ferocious game of ping-pong.

He does not have (by 'Hollywood' standards) many possessions and keeps his life uncluttered.

So is Keanu Reeves up to playing me in The Nightwatchman? I’ll tell you when they show me the first rushes.

What do you think about Keanu Reeves? Is it time we start talking up the big guy as a good actor and bodacious dude? Click the comments thingy and tell us all about it!

STOP PRESS!
I've done some digging about Keanu's Dogstar tour with me mate Jeff's band, Musket. Unlike some of the rockdogs in his band, Keanu was quite a quiet guy on tour.

"Nice guy. Much better bass player than actor," Jeff exclusively tells The Nightwatchman.

"I accidently gave him the master copy of the album we had just recorded. I only realised this after the tour had finished when Keanu left some messages on our home answering machine offering to swap the cd for a copy."

"Then a dickhead housemate erased all the messages so I lost Keanu's mobile number. All credit to him, though. He did his best to get the cd back to me."

The Nightwatchman Movie: The Good News And The Bad News

My favorite living writer, James Ellroy is working on a screenplay adaptation of this very website!

So what's the bad news? The Nightwatchman will be played by Keanu Reeves.

Photo of James Ellroy from Wikipedia.

Twisted Sister Old And (Still) Embarassing

From this week's Popbitch...

Last week, Twisted Sister performed in Brighton. During the show, frontman Dee Snider of Twisted Sister gives a shout-out to the crowd, saying "The balcony is where all the REAL sick motherfuckers are. They can't even stand up by show time. Let's have the house lights up to see them!"

The House lights are raised... and the band and audience find themselves looking back at the disabled section of the crowd, full of fans in wheelchairs.

Link Wray Passed Away

If there was ever a bloke who could make his guitar sound like gasoline in the sand, it was Link Wray.

The big guys agree:

"He is the King; if it hadn't been for Rumble, I would have never picked up a guitar." - Pete Townsend
"If I could go back in time and see one concert it would be Link Wray and His Raymen" - Neil Young
"Rumble is the best instrumental ever.” - Bob Dylan

Dylan opened his set at the Brixton Academy last night with Rumble (yes, click it and you'll hear a bootleg of the performance!).

Also, you can listen/download some of Wray's instrumental hits and read more about the power chord rock master at PCL LinkDump.

Uruguay Down And Now For The World Scrabble Championships

Australia has two players in the top ten after eight rounds of the World Scrabble Championships in London. Melbourne Scrabble Club's (my club!) Andrew Fisher is coming fifth and would be coming second if he didn't lose to clubmate, Naween Fernando who's coming 13th.

At scrabble club I've played many games against Andrew and only once come within 20 points of him. I've played Naween only twice and he beat me by around 60 points each time. Andrew has taught me quite a lot about Scrabble and is a top bloke. I really hope he wins this.

Another Melbourne based player, wunderkind 16 year-old, David Eldar's tall poppy's been cut in his first World Championship. He's coming 74th.

Game highlights, transcripts, commentaries and a webcam can be seen at the World Scrabble Championships website.

West Wing Coming To Our ABC

Crikey reported yesterday that the ABC has bought the rights off Channel 9 for The West Wing.

Two hopes.

They repeat the series before Rob Lowe leaves the show. Channel 9 fart arsed so much with the timeslots I kept missing episodes so much to the point I stopped watching the show.

The ABC don't play it the same night as the brilliant, 100 Centre Street because if we've sat through an episode of The West Wing without adbreaks and then put ourselves through an hour of watching Alan Arkin act his pants off, our brains may well explode.

Poof.

Photo from The Herald Sun.

Our Greatest Moment

The second greatest sporting moment in my lifetime.

Yes!

We're in!

By qualifying for Germany 2006, we've gained world respect not even one hundred wars can forge.

Yes!

At last!

Now, look again at the absolute poignancy of the photo above (from The Herald Sun). Marco Bresciano's just kicked the goal but he's stunned, staring into space.

Gobsmacked.

For Harry Kewell, over 8 years of hard work on the field (and even harder work off it), is starting to pay off.

And boy, didn't Harry work hard last night.

I'm A Large Sphincter Nerd

Just worked out these anagrams using a program called Anagram Genius. Some of these are accurate and others, downright spooky. I've no comment on the first.

Glenn Richard Peters anagrams to I'm A Large Sphincter Nerd.

Jeffrey Roderick Samin anagrams to Major If Fiery Rednecks.

Paul McGarry anagrams to Crap! Ugly arm.

Myf Warhurst anagrams to Wry Farts Hum.

John Winston Howard anagrams to Join Harsh Downtown.

George Bush anagrams to 'O, He Buggers!'

Whitney Houston anagrams to 'Shut It Now, Honey!'

Wayne Carey anagrams to A Racy Weeny.

Dolly Parton anagrams to Dynatrollop.

Kylie Minogue anagrams to 'I Like Guy On Me.'

Rod Stewart anagrams to Worst Dater.

Paul McCartney anagrams to Pay Mr Clean Cut.

The Beatles anagrams to Let Hates Be.

And my favorite.... Brian Wilson anagrams to Slow In Brain.

Herald Sun Stealing My Ideas

An alleged muslim fisherman yesterday, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

I can't believe this photo from today's Herald Sun.

Look at the eerily similar photo which appeared on on this site two weeks ago. And they didn't even bother to mask the fish's identity.

What Anton Newcomb Did On Thursday October 13th

I can't get enough of The Brian Jonestown Massacre's Anton Newcomb's blog thingy.

Here's Newcombe's reply to a bloke who asked if he had anything better to do than cut n' paste news stories about George Bush all day and night.

i wrote 3 songs today fuckwad.
i also walked in the rain to buy a slow cooker so my son could have warm soup.
i also set up a new record deal for japan.
i also worked on solving this problem with people stealing gear,paid off debts,bought socks,took good friends out to drinks,shoped for food,went to the doctor to correct a hurt neck...oh you fucking little shit!i rebuke thee vile e-mail satan!

i can multitask cunt.

All of Brian Jonestown Massacre's records can be downloaded free from their official website.

The Funbird Mk II As Driven By James Bond

Thanks to my sister, the rubber ducky tester I am now the proud driver of an '85 900 Saab GLE.

It's an excitement machine (unlike Brisbane band, 78 Saab), similar to that driven by James Bond in the 1980's!

Now for some important caveats:

• Bond drove the 900 Turbo.
• The Funbird Mk II hasn't got a turbo.
• Bond never drove a Saab in the movies. He only drove Saabs in the dodgy Bond novels published in the 1980's.
• These novels were NOT written by Ian Fleming.
• The Funbird guarantee still stands.

Local Shops Replaced By Activity Centre And Entertainment Precinct By Dweeb Councillor

Friends and longtime readers of this site would know of my hassles of being Glenn from Glen Waverley and that I went to Glen Waverley High School, the school adjacent to The Glen shopping centre.

Today I was sent an electioneering letter from local councillor, ex-Glen Waverley High student and dweeb, Cr Geoff Lake (pictured above) containing this illuminating paragraph entitled, A Vibrant Glen Waverley Central For Everyone:

"Geoff has played a key role in driving the dramatic development of the Glen Waverley Activity Centre into the dynamic and bustling retail, restaurant and entertainment precinct it is today. He is passionate about seeing it develop further and offer something for all ages."

You read it right. The Glen is not called The Glen anymore. According to Cr Lake, it shall be now known as the GLEN WAVERLEY ACTIVITY CENTRE.

Well, fuck me.

Oh yeah, I must be getting known for my Glenn from Glen Waverley schtick because I noticed someone came here by doing a Google search for "Glen Peters Glen Waverley" a couple of days ago.

Thanks Again Mr Go Between!

As I've said before, The Go Betweens' Robert Forster is the best music critic I've read in years. It's worth buying The Monthly just for his record reviews.

This is from his current review of the new Rolling Stones album:

And just as importantly, who is going to record them?

That's another obstacle - the clash between Keith's "are you sure Otis Redding did it this way?" and Mick's "let's get adventurous and bring in The Dust Bothers " approaches. The outcome has invariably been a safe pair of hands at the control board, such as LA journeyman Don Was, to placate them both, when what the Stones really need is a good producer.

God, do they need a good producer. They need someone to limit Keith to two guitar tracks per song, someone to stare down Jagger when he does his "girl-you-put-the-scratches-on-my-back" gibberish, someone to mike Charlie Watt's s drums properly. They need someone who will look at the band and say: "You're the Rolling Stones. You don't have to follow anyone."

Could Bomber Beazley Be Jailed The Next Time He Plays Guitar In Public?

Who could forget the sad site of Kim Beazley on guitar, singing Blowin' In The Wind during an election campaign radio interview?

Next time, if the new Sedition laws pass, a performance of Bob Dylan's Masters Of War (from the same album Blowin' In The Wind comes from) could put Beazley in jail for seven years.

The law Beazley will break will be that of Seditious Intention where it will be illegal to:

• bring the Sovereign into hatred or contempt

• to urge dissafection against the Constitution, the Government or Commonwealth or either House of the Parliament

• to urge another person to attempt, or otherwise than by lawful means, to procure a change to any matter established by law in the Commonwealth

• to promote feelings of ill-will or hostility between different groups so as to threaten the peace, order and good government of the Commonwealth

Masters Of War is an anthem of Seditious Intention, where Dylan fiercely damns the company men and politicians behind the horrors of war and hits them with this...

When your death takes its toll,
All the money you made,
Will never buy back your soul.

And I hope that you die,
And your death'll come soon,
I will follow your casket,
In the pale afternoon,
And I'll watch while you're lowered,
Down to your deathbed,
And I'll stand o'er your grave,
'Til I'm sure that you're dead.

Last year a school band in Colorado were questioned by the US Secret Secret Service for performing the same Bob Dylan classic.

God Save The Queen by The Sex Pistols would be another no-no.

Wear's The Beef?

What am I going to wear?, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

A Boing Boing reader found this tasty typo on Yahoo/Reuters yesterday.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.

Washington's department stores have been innundated with ladies trying to find the shoes to match.