Serious Political Analysis

A Warning, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

This photo was taken on the Dight's Falls End of Victoria Park, only 20 metres from where Melbourne rawk svengali (and top mate), Jeff Samin lives.

Dear Danny Update

I got a reply from Catch the Fire Ministries' Danny Nalliah (pictured above). Here it is.

danny@catchthefire.com.au
to me

Thanks mate. it is a free democracy. you have your right to have your say.
Thanks and many blessings/Danny

And here's my response, emailed only minutes ago.

Dear Danny,

I have problems with you hiding behind the "free democracy" argument.

First, list me all the times the word, "democracy" is mentioned in the bible.

I'll help you. Zero.

And if there's one concept you see a lot of in that book it's "love".

Where's the love in your corrupt gibberish against Islam? Isn't "love" the most important of all words for all Bible following Christians?

Finally, democracy is not free. Democracy and a right to free speech comes with responsibility. You know, morals, values and all that. In everything we do, we must think of a correct and reasonable way of doing so.

For example, I could call you an evil Sri Lankan cunt stick but doing so would be wrong. Sure, I'm "free" to call you an evil Sri Lankan cunt stick but I know as a man of the cloth, you would be offended and possibly hurt by such debase arguments. Therefore, in this email I've chosen not to call you an evil Sri Lankan cunt stick.

Regards,

Glenn Peters

Stay tuned for more.

For Sale: Drum Sticks, One Owner

Ringo's drumsticks used at the 1964 Festival Hall show are on Ebay. The auction is currently at one bid for US$999.

UPDATE: Auction ended and reserve not met at US$5,300.00 (AU$6,888.04)

eBay item 7524038143 - BEATLES RINGO STARR AUTHENTIC CONCERT USED DRUMSTICKS

Dear Danny, You Are An Angry Freak Who Should Go To Jail

Somebody should close down the so-called church, Catch The Fire. Their pastors were found to have vilified Muslims by a Melbourne Court today.

The court ordered they must apologise or they will face a prison sentence.

Pastor Danny Nalliah has been doing the talk radio rounds protesting the verdict. I heard him speak to ABC's Virginia Trioli a few minutes ago and couldn't resist sending him this email.

Dear Danny,

I have just heard your interview with Virginia Trioli on ABC 774.

I found your arguments and manner extremely offensive and morally inept.

How can your angry rhetoric possibly help you achieve your church's 'vision' "to reach people from all walks of life into the Kingdom of God."

By the way, your website is almost as ugly as your opinions.

regards,

Glenn Peters

I Was Maimed By Deep Soul

A few years ago when I was working at Shock Records, this compilation, Dave Godin's Soul Treasures Volume 3, came by my desk. When I say 'came by my desk' I mean exactly that. One of my jobs there was to get a huge pile of cds or press releases from record importers and write a one or two sentence review of each for the weekly record company release sheet given to all the record shops.

With up to 40 reviews a week, I was a one man record reviewin', press releasin' production line. Pity nobody read my guff. The record shop owners would only read Shock's release sheet to find out when the new Craig David single was coming out. Nothing's changed, only it's Ricki Lee now.

This record stunned me.

This is what I wrote on the release sheet:

"My balls are on fire and I'm crying, crying, crying. This is and will be the most perfect soul compilatation you will ever hear. Order as many of units your shop can afford of this one, NOW! One for you, one for your lover, one for your mother, one for your father, one for neighbour, one for the Chinese bloke who owns your local milkbar, one for the drunk guy on the train on the way to work, one to your local MP, one to your parole officer and thousands to all the sad people in the world and thousands more for the the happy. Trust us on this one."

And this is what I should have written:

"Deep soul rarities compiled by renowned soul DJ/Journalist Dave Godin featuring cuts by James Brown, Baby Washington, Toussaint McCall, Carla Thomas, Bobby Womack, Irma Thomas, Rick James and many more."

A week later I was asked to leave the company.

Please, Don't Hurt Me

please don't hurt glen, originally uploaded by doctor paradox.

As you may well know, my name is Glenn and I live in Glen Waverley. My local shopping center is called The Glen and when I was a wee Glenn, I would have to trudge down Glen Street every day to school which was, of course, called Glen Waverley High.

But what really annoys me is when people spell my name incorrectly. You may as well throw stuff at me if you're going to spell my name with one 'n'.

Here's a TV advertisement about the brighter days of my life. Essential viewing!

Number 710 With A Bullet!

In only a month I have jumped 106 places to be the 710th best Scrabble player in Australia. Yay!

ASPA Rankings List.

And Then I Shot Him

"There's nothing nice about prison except that it makes you stop running."

Brenda Hodge was the last person to be sentenced to death in Australia. Later her punishment was reduced to life in prison. She was a guest on ABC Local Radio earlier this morning.

By the time you read this, the interview will be here.

Hammer Anvil Out of the Congo

Meet Bill Turner, president of Aussie mining company, Anvil. With help from the Congalese government and The World Bank, Anvil make money from mining the violent remote eastern regions of the Democratic Republic of Congo.

It must be pointed out that Anvil's building of a small primary school and health clinic in the Democratic Republic of Congo, bragged about by the Anvil president, in the 4 Corners report are mandatory to ensure their newly approved insurance policy taken with the World Bank insurance agency, MIGA.

This brings another point. Why and how did this arm of the World Bank approve "Political Risk Insurance" to Anvil only last month? Surely the World Bank would have had some intelligence there was a question mark on the West Australian's potential link to the killings in Kilwa, last year.

According to press releases by Anvil and MIGA, this is the first such insurance policy offered to a mining company anywhere in the world.

It is irresponsible for the World Bank to encourage any further mining in volatile countries like the Democratic Republic of Congo.

On their website, Anvil justify their work in the Democratic Republic Congo saying, "positive political developments in recent years have ushered in a workable political climate under which Anvil is now able to operate."

Try telling that to the 15 women and girls who the UN reported were raped last month by government backed militia in the Congelese village of Sonsa, only 250km from the site of yet another of Anvil's mines in the DRC's east.

If the recent reports by the World Health Organisation, "Congo the Curse of Gold" or Medicans Sans Frontiers report on the DRC's current rape endemic, "I Have No Joy, No Peace of Mind" are anything to go by, Anvil and other western mining companies must get out of the Congo immediately. Merely throwing your arms up in denial like Anvil's president, Bill Turner did on Monday night's 4 Corners is unacceptable.

Sadly, Anvil's mission statement proclaims the Australian company is "Forging a Great Future in the Congo". Instead, I feel they and other mining companies, with financial help from the World Bank, are only digging the African country deeper into worse times of rape and murder.

Link to Four Corners Report

Where the Wild Things Are

"I don't know how to write for children," says Maurice Sendak, the 76 year-old "picture maker" in this wonderful little interview for NPR.

NPR: A Conversation with Maurice Sendak via Boing Boing.

From Hack to Alchemist

The past week I've been at AWARD Copy School learning writing stuff from some of Australia's best copywriters. My tutors included the guy who wrote the Hard Yakka jingle (no ANTHEM), rival writers for Jetstar and Virgin Blue; the wunderkind behind the Carlton Draught Made From Beer ads; the funny bastard behind the office party soup ads; and one of my idol real-crime writers who confirmed every thing I said in this post.

Because these fellas were dauntingly talented writers, their classes were full of piss-funny one liners. Indeed, more one liners than a pre-fringe benefits tax luncheon.

Here's an unattributed bunch.

"While you and your mates are fucking saying how fucking good you are and giving each other fucking awards, your mum and dad are at home singing my fucking ads."
"Aussies don't like a smart-arse. They just want to like you."
"It's easy to be different but it's hard to be the same but better."
"It's only a fuck. We've all had one."
"I don't make any comments about xxxx's advertising other than it's shit."
"That's been done but has it been done again?"
"Remember, most of what we do is taking the piss."

I'm keen as a kid in a battery shop to work my new craziness learnt at AWARD Copy School so (here's the hard sell, the call to action if you will), it's time to hire me to write up your merde. I can’t promise to turn dust into gold but if you pay me enough, I might be able to squeeze some of your shit into porcelain.

When your marketing department, no bugger that, when your entire office comes back from lunch, all-staff email my details.

Glenn Peters
Writer/Alchemist.

Telephone 03 9561 4438
glennpeters@hotmail.com
http://nightwatchman.blogspot.com

I'm also really good at translating office/industry jargon into understandable English. So ner!

Thank You Mr Gobetween!

The Gobetweens' Robert Forster is one hell of a writer. His first bit of music journalism, a review of Antony and the Johnsons latest, which appeared in new mag, The Monthly is sublime, starting exactly like,

"I first heard this record coming in from the airport in Milan. A taxi ride, ancient four-storey buildings, thrusting billboards, the beautiful people gorgeously dressed; and then a motorbike accident on a corner, a body beside an ambulance stiff on the ground. Life and death. I was listening to the right record."

Forster's review does what it should. It lets you in on the album's secret.

Soon after reading the review I bought the album and I haven't switched it off since.

Here's what the new Antony and the Johnsons record looks like so you can too.

Bugger It, It's The Budget

Nice summary of Costello's budget from the daily Crikey email bulletin.

"The plasma TV has become a symbol of our current prosperity. They look good. Sleek, elegant, functional and modern. In truth, they’re heavy, hard to hang, chew up power and the pictures get burnt in. That makes it a perfect symbol of this Budget, too. You feel modern and well off with a plasma, and that’s how the Government would like us to feel. It’s how the Prime Minister and the Treasurer want the great mass of middle Australia to be."

Now you can get Crikey's daily bulletins as a free trial. After a couple of weeks you pay them or they send you an abridged version. After two days, I've been very impressed with these bulletins, so much I might even fork out the cash for the full service. Yes, this is how free trials should work.

The Nightwatchman's Dissapointing Scrabble Tournament Comeback

I made my much awaited comeback to competition Scrabble at the Noturno tournament at the Prince Patrick last night. Didn't do too well with one win and four losses. Some say I may have been rusty after the long break but I put my losses down to laziness and good competition.

Game 1 vs Gillian Kinder
I was thrashed 260-472. Just like Collingwood against Freo last weekend, I was killed as soon as the ball was bounced. The 112 ranked in Australia, Kinder (I'm ranked 814!), started with MEDIATE for 74. I returned serve with PITS for 8 probably to show where the game was already heading. Late in the game she made her own comment on the game, playing SWINDLE for 110 bloody points. This loss put me at the very bottom of the tournament ladder.

Game 2 vs Cheryl Jearam
Another schmozzle, 278-395. At 99 all, I picked up this beautiful rack. RRLUIII. Exchanged 4 tiles and Jearam (ranked 107) NEVER (27 points) looked back. Oh, except when she SLAPPED me for 65 points. I BEAT her for 31 but then her game became NICE (20) and SAUCY (26). Not even a NICER (7) JAB (20) could save me in this game.

Game 3 vs Mohammed Hegazi
My only win, 447-271. Heading into this game Mohammed (ranked 612) was in worse shape than I was. His head was in his hands because he had just been beaten by over 300 points. The guy who beat him got something like 630 points, a schlacking which may go down as one of the year's record scores. Ouch. If there's one thing I've learnt from my Scrabs mentors, Geoff Wright and Andrew Fisher is its okay to kick a bloke when he's down in Scrabble. One night I won an internet game 621-280. One word I played that game was DEGLAZES for 271 points. I came into Scrabble club the following night glowing. Then I played Andrew. He beat me 670-260. Against Mohammed I felt like I could do no wrong. There's nothing WIMPIER (I played for 82 points) than going easy on a bloke.

Game 4 vs Dorothy Barraclough
Dorothy's ranked 403 so I thought this could be a close one. It was for most of the game but she ended up beating me 359-296. Her win came when she played TESTING for 76 points.

Game 5 vs Carol Masciti
I lost 323-342. I should have won this against the 689 ranked lovely lady. In my last go I needed 12 to win the game. I played a speculative EDE for 16. Carol challenged and went out with LION to win the game. As soon as she put her final tiles on the board I saw what I missed. The nearest word to my eyes was ROPE. If I put the D on ROPE instead of playing the phony, EDE, I would have won the game. For the rest of the night I felt like two of the words I played in this game- a GIT (25) and a GOOF (12).

The winner of the tournament was indeed, Andrew Fisher who is later this year representing Australia and of course our great Melbourne Scrabble Club in the 2005 World Championships. Andrew's one of the world's top professional players and for last night's win he earned himself a whopping $20! See, there's money in this game.

For Victorian Scrabble news, competitions, ratings and membership, visit Scrabble Victoria's website.

What's He Building In There?

Melbourne sculptor, Nick Jones makes pretty thingies out of old books. Nick's been doing this for the ten years I've known him. An exhibition of his latest work can be seen at Spacement: Watson Place, Melbourne, Australia from May 10 to June 4th.



The blurb on the gallery site reckons:

Using a compendia of old books and pamphlets found in the bins of the University of Melbourne library, he creates an archaeology of texts that presents a nostalgic view of 1950s and 60s literature regarding Australia and the world. Combining elements of chance and modern design, the works resemble a sculptural form of concrete poetry that create a new perspective on the past.

And I reckons:

Engrossing. I couldn't put them down.

Exhibition link.

Another Reason to Subscribe to Popbitch

From this week's Popbitch.

"A mate of mine has just been sacked from his job working on the dodgems. He's suing them for funfair dismissal."

Genius.

ANZAC Day Tedium 2005

From my Collingwood Football Club page, Victoria Park...

By the time I got to the MCG, the whole ANZAC Day thing was giving me the shits. This year's ANZAC week was way way way over the top. Until now, the ANZAC message was simple: war is evil; respect diggers; fighting another country's war is a mug's game; and all war is evil. 2005's ANZAC Day seemed to be all about celebrating 'fallen heroes' and showing hate for anyone who dares to question Iraq, terror and myth. I wanted to yell something out during the silence like, "No more war!" but I was more interested in getting a good spot.

Victoria Park: ANZAC Day Tedium 2005

I Am Yesterday's News

I THOUGHT the Government's new drugs ads were part of the show I was watching- a Channel Seven special about TV in the olden days.
Glenn Peters, Glen Waverley

Yep, I got this letter published in The Age yesterday. It was the headline letter in the politics bit of And Another Thing.

I'll Get Me Coat

Talking to me mum today. This little piece of champagne comedy occured.

Mum: "Like her or not, Madonna will definately go down in history."

Me: "That's not the only thing she'll go down on."

I crack me up.

Taliban Bomb Trucks Carrying Oil For U.S. Military

That's nice of the Taliban. The United States need all the help they can get out there.

Reuters AlertNet - Taliban bomb trucks carrying oil for U.S. military