Help Send Boxcutters to SXSW

The podcast I help out with, Boxcutters, has been asked to record an episode at the SXSW Interactive festival in Austin, Texas.

I can't wait but....we need your help.

We need to raise enough money for airfares to Austin from Melbourne. We can take care of the rest.

Help us here.

Boxcutters is a weekly podcast all about television. For the past six years the Boxcutters team has produced a high quality audio programme that promotes the art-form of quality television production.
All the hard work going into the podcast is paying off in terms of recognition.

For an Australian podcast to be invited to SXSW Interactive is a huge deal.

This gives us an opportunity to promote, on the World’s stage, Australian podcasting as well as our TV production. It’s our chance to really shine a light on Australia and get people excited about the quality of our products.

If you are a business and you want to support us, I'll personally talk about how good you are everywhere I go during the week in Austin.

Help us get to Texas here. 

Another way you can help is to hire me right now as a freelance copywriter. All the work I do will go directly to making the trip possible (and paying for little things like food, rent, car rego etc in the meantime).

Reply All Files #1*: Should You Have a Facebook Page To Promote Your Work?

Recently had an email conversation with some good mates about the pros and cons of a having a Facebook page to promote your freelance work. After a few fruity language edits, I think the conversation's worth publishing. Chaz is a Melbourne based PR writer. 

Chaz:  I know it's a bit shit, but a couple of people have told me to start an FB Page for myself, and just post regular content, to increase my profile, and hopefully attract clients. Heaps of dumb PR people I know do it, and get loads of work so maybe I can too. But what can I call it? My friend Daanen suggest ChazWords. Kinda like Google AdWords. I really hated it at first.. I mean REALLY hated it. But now it's kinda growing on me. It's snappy and succinct, which may or may not be the same thing.

What do you think? Any other (sensible) suggestions?

Some ridiculous suggestions like Chazwick's Models and Words With Chaz follow, then...

Chaz:  I quite like Words With Chaz, Jack! Better than Turds with Friends. I should add that really I'm just waiting for Glenn to tell me what it should be called.

Katia:  I don't think the name should necessarily have CHAZ  in it and also, I question how much work you'll get from Facebook but that may just be me.  Glenn will know better.

Me:  In all seriousness. As if we do seriousness around here, but don't do it. It doesn't work.

That's what your SBD (silent but deadly) blog is for.

If you need another site for work and resume just do one under your own name. And if you do, use blogspot and put statcounter.com on it so you can find out who's visiting. You have no control over FB.

I have one here. It's rubbish but it does the job. 

Katia:  Oh god so my thoughts on facebook are confirmed by Peters. Phew.

Chaz: Thanks Peters! Other similarly qualified people have also told me the same, but I was hoping you'd disagree! You see, my blog gets hardly any hits. I mean, I'm lucky if it gets 50 per post on the day I post something. And NOBODY checks it unless I post a link on FB. Whereas I know all these crap writers who get all their work from their FB pages (the work is mostly from other people in their social orbit who require a writer for whatever project). A dedicated blog for my work might not work, as my work is mostly just crap media releases and stuff. Not really ads or anything. Not really anything I'm in any way proud of AT ALL.

And almost every single job I've had so far has come from one of my FB friends recommending me to one of their friends / colleagues. And because I know so many of people in this town (I'm not boasting though.. they are almost all horrible), I thought an FB page, less offensive than my own facebook, might be helpful. Ok let me put it this way - would an FB page actually be HARMFUL? Cos I might just go ahead and do one regardless if not.

Matt:  I just got back from three hours in Parramatta, so thank YOU, Chaz, for giving me something comparatively intelligent to glance over.

It restored some faint memories that there are normal people in this world with questions that probe deeper than, “you got a smoke?”.

For what it’s worth, I totally agree with the proper blog if you’re not very good at creating custom MySpace pages.

Me:  Yes it can be harmful. Definitely don't do it. FB doesn't appeal to the people making the bigger decisions like running your own website does. A FB page comes across too much as a shortcut. Anyone can start a FB page. But rarely many people run a blog well. People envy anyone who can keep updating a blog. Just keep doing what you're doing on FB. You do FB well enough.

You're getting all the work you can through your FB contacts. The only way to take it further is by getting published lots and people actually reading your work. It takes ages to get a blog working. And even if it does work, it really doesn't matter how many visitors you get.

Just write more on your blog or set up another resume blog with your name on and republish all the PR writing you do for clients. Or use Linked in.

One more thing, in advertising none of the people I admire run a FB page. They do all their self promotion with a combo of blogspot or tumblr and twitter and only use FB as a personal thing, sometimes pointing friends to cool stuff they've done.

Also separate church and state. Do you really want to self censor what you do on FB because that's what you're going to have to do LOTS when you set up a small business FB page.

Chaz:  Ok, it's settled. No FB page and more blogging.

Then for some reason we move on to spending the rest of the day talking about Laverne and Shirley.

* #1 suggests this is first in a series. It could well be. All I need is another interesting email conversation. Email me to say hello or give me some freelance copywriting briefs at hotpies(at)gmail.com.

Or check out my work page here.

From The Archives: Ten Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch Another Idol Grand Final

Found this in my old document files. Can't remember if I published it back then...

Nice to see Channel Ten cut down the Australian Idol Final to a measly four hours.  Most years the final's gone for six to seven hours so last night's bunch of sponsor generated filler seemed to fly. 

Though I did shudder every time one of the hosts threatened to have another look at the the final two contestants' (I've already forgotten their names) JOURNEYS to get where they were blah blah yawn piddle pus yawn.....

Anyway, as promised ten things I'd rather do than endure another Australian Idol Grand Final™.

Lynch the Maybelline Style Team. 

Visit Quambatook, Australia's home of the mighty sport of Tractor Pulling!

Read every single word of the Cole Inquiry's 1000 page report into AWB's dodgy work in Iraq.  Twice.

Scalp, mince and make burgers out of the smarmy kids in the McDonalds Make Your Own Choice advertisements.

Interview Guy Sebastian about his new album.  Everyone else has.  I'm sure he's got something interesting to say.

See The Black Dahlia again.  Maybe not.

Queue to see last year's Idol favorite, Dan Englund headline at The Empress.  What?  His gig was last Saturday night and I missed it?  I'm so bad with dates.

Watch the grand final episode of Dancing With The Stars.  Again, maybe not.

Apply for the job as the driver of Luna Park's big dipper.  Yes, it's the only one in the world with a driver.  He just stands there in the middle caboose holding a big brake lever.  No seat-belts.  Nothing.  And he doesn't care.  In-fact, he looks real bored with his job.  It's incredible.

Collect moths.

The Perverse Logic of Modern Debate.

Intelligent debate is dead.

If you read comments on any of the newspaper websites, you already knew that.

First, let me introduce you to my favorite comedian in years, Stewart Lee.



Today I had a similar conversation about generalisations to Lee's on twitter with, not a taxi driver, but a Geelong based real estate agent.

It started with an admittedly facetious tweet by me...

nightwatchman Right whingers, though tough on Roebuck, are tiptoeing around the news that Liberal senator Mary Jo Fisher has been found guilty of assault.

Then, out of nowhere, a reply by Geelong real estate agent and "full-time father-prenuer*" NicholasMaas.

NicholasMaas @nightwatchman Not at all. I say she should be removed from parliament. That's something we would expect from Labour / Greens, not Libs.

His reply was ambiguous. I was hoping he didn't mean what it looked like it meant. So I asked him...

What's "something we'd expect from Labour/Greens, not Libs"?

But he meant what I thought he meant. His reply...

Indiscretions resulting in charges... 

I don't argue with strangers on twitter. It's a mug's game. But I had to make sure....

Do you seriously think your political leaning has a bearing on the probability of you doing something illegal?

His answer?

indirectly.... Yes.

I could have followed Stewart Lee's tact with a sensible rebuttal to quell the real estate agent's ridiculous generalisation. I could have even made a similar generalisation based on my previous experience with Geelong's wonderful real estate agent community. And I'm sure he'd return that with "you can prove anything with facts" 

 

But I didn't. 

 

I was gobsmacked. 

 

Unfortunately this was all I could come up with...

Wow.

* No, I don't know what a "prenuer" is either.

It's Been Looked At.

From my website statcounter this morning. Click image to make it bigger.

A Letter To My Mayor

This is the an email I sent to my council mayor, Robert Doyle last Friday. No reply yet.

Dear Lord Mayor,

Seeing that you can get rid of protesters from the city, please could you get rid of the protesters outside the Wellington Street fertility clinic. You denied a link between the two protesters on 774 this morning but to somebody who lives in the area and votes for council elections, the link is obvious.

These protesters gather almost every day. This is at the end of my street. I live in Vale Street.

They're disturbing, intimidatory and their placards are deeply offensive.

They scare my wife from visiting the post office. Should my wife have to go to the Richmond Town Hall post office when there's one at the end of our street?

Several times I've seen people walking past abusing the protesters and almost coming to blows. This is a dangerous situation.

They've made their point. Now please, make them move on. Permanently.

I've had enough of them. Why should I have to be subjected to their deeply offensive protest almost every day?

Kind Regards,

Glenn Peters

STOP PRESS: It has been looked at by someone at the council.

What Jack Listened To When He Was 18 (and wasn't gay).

This was left by my great mate, Jack Thompson as a comment on my previous post. As Molly would say, 'do yourself a favor' and read it through to the end.

Beautiful stuff.


The year was 1991, and I had turned 18 in the April. I was getting excited about going to a Kylie concert in the May.....but I wasn't gay.

Shocked was my fave from the album Rhythm of Love, especially once I had learnt all the rap bit.


Also in that year the local Macedonian club put on an underage disco at a local reception centre once a month. Italo House was still the genre that was popular and I recall busting moves to this classic from Black Box.


Also at these discos there was obligatory slow dance to end the night. Boys and girls would entwine themselves to the sounds of music. This one from Def Leppard always made hands wander and would lead to lots of awkward kissing.

I was often asked why I didn't slow dance with any girls.

I would say something along the lines of "I was outside getting fresh air" or "Me and (insert girls name here), were having a conversation in the foyer"

But I wasn't gay.


That year being able to go to nightclubs legally, and not hiding from police officers doing patrols, I couldn't wait to get to The Metro to dance to this track from Madonna, you may have heard of it?


Another hit from Madonna that I wouldnt dance to until I knew all the moves (but I wasn't gay), was this one.


Turning 18 meant getting my license. Driving around in my skyblue Datsun 180B was one of my favorite things to do, Lygon St or Chapel St. This was often heard blasting through my four windows that were always down.


The Kenwood tape player purchased from Gary's Car Radio produced a high quality sound.
I was disappointed when I had to get a refund on the tickets from BASS when the KLF concert was canelled due to the ill health of Tammy Wynette.

I really was only going to hear this one song.


While I am speaking of concerts, C&C Music Factory toured that year. They played the National Tennis Centre. I was there in a pair of mustard jeans and a green shirt with white polka dots, doing the running man to this.

I could go on forever but these are just a few of the songs that I recall from the year of turning 18. Most of these songs are now on my iPod.


I will finish with the song that I finally danced to with someone at the end of the night. It was more like 6am in the morning.

It was at the Trade Bar in Collingwood, it is now apartments after being left vacant for 7 years and I even tried to buy it to return it to its former glory.

I finally found someone that I could dance with.

His name was Daniel.

And yes, I am gay.

Music I Listened To When I Was 18

Apparently, in advertising or film, if you want to get straight at someone's heart, you just play songs that your audience was listening to when they turned 18. Radio stations are all over this. That's why oldies radio has slowly followed their demographic by playing 60s and 70s music during the 90s to play 80s and 90s music now.

Why? Well, it's obvious. What were you doing when you were 18? Yes. That's right. Awesome.

Here's what I was into.


I moved to Geelong to go to uni on the week I turned 18. This was the anthem back then. Unfortunately a couple of fellas from Geelong's favorite band died in a crash on the Geelong road weeks before I arrived.


I came up with the idea for this posting last night at The Corner Hotel when I saw Dean Wareham from Galaxie 500 play this Johnathan Richman cover. I remember hearing this for the first time while running back from footy training late one night. I was fit then. But judging from my music tastes, not emotionally fit.


When I wasn't in pubs, girls' houses or lectures, I was on my skateboard. This was my favorite song to ride to. I'd play it again and again.


I spent several monumental moments back then listening to this.


I was in a band. We played art rock. It was amateurish, droney and up itself sludge. I was the flamboyant singer. But hearing 16 Lovers Lane, it became sadly obvious that there was more to art than being original. Simply made songs. And beautiful.


A few of us were obsessed with what was coming out of NZ back then. This is my favorite of all the many great songs that came from the Flying Nun label.


I still have a lot of time for the straight edge (no drink or drugs) punk movement. Feel the energy in this vid. So good. I've never thought you need anything in your bloodstream to get a lot out of great music. I also loved how outwardly political this music was. Especially now when 'political correctness' is scorned by most (I don't mind it at all), Fugazi still sound fresh and important.

What were you into?

Tell us about it in the comments.

100,004 People Can't Be Wrong.

As of a few minutes ago, 100,004 people have visited my blogs.

Thanks everybody.

(Except for that freaky Keanu Reeves stalker from a few years ago. You really disturbed me)

From Today's Age.

From Suzanne Carbone's Postcode 3000 column on the back page.

Brownlow 2011: Dane Swan - The People's Brownlow Winner

Awesome.

I love Dane Swan and I think he's about to win the Brownlow. Let's see. Round 23 and he's up by 6 from Dal Santo. Dal Santo needs two B.O.Gs. And he only gets two votes. Swannie gets 2 and WINS THE BROWNLOW.

This is great. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just dance around the house in my tracky dacks.

34 votes. The highest number of votes ever.

In the interview he's calling Bruce, 'mate'. Mick Malthouse looks really proud. He met his girlfriend, Taylor in a bar, he tells Bruce. "Yeah, no, she's good. She's lovely."

Now he's talking about his friendship with Chris Tarrant. So good. It looked like there was a tear in his eye. Then Bruce changes the subject. Dane, anyone you want to thank? "Oh yeah, we'll give it a go." His formal speech is quite funny. You can see he's trying to keep a lid on it.

Great work Dane.

Surely one of the best players I've ever seen.

Brownlow 2011: Judd Might Steal This. No He Won't!

So Judd's on 23 now. And Mitchell is on 30. Dal Santo on 26. But Swan on 29.

Okay. This is getting awkward. Bruce should have referred to the Mitchell situation as 'the elephant on the field'.

Round 22. Judd needs a vote... And he doesn't get it. He won't win the Brownlow because he's 6 behind. Phew. Go Swannie... 3 votes!!!! Outright lead on 32. Two rounds to go. I don't think he can be beaten.

Brownlow 2011: Swan 45 Touches. Let's See What Happens.

So do you get three votes when you have 45 touches? Let's see. Waiting for the votes. Waiting.. Waiting... Judd moves to 17. Waiting... Mitchell onto 24. Ablett onto 19. Waiting... Dal Santo 24.... Waiting... Swan... 3 votes! And the lead on I think 24.

Round 20. I watched this Collingwood v Port 168 point win at the Rose. It was apparently the last time I'll have the mixed grill at the Rose because all my mates have finally pulled the pin on it. Judd catching up on 20. Demetrio struggled with T Mzungu. Was very funny. Swan on 26. Mitchell on 27. He can't win. This is already an equal record for an ineligible player.

Brownlow 2011: What The Judd?

Nice and short interview with Dane Swan. Dunno what he said. I think it was just words he said about football.

Round 17. Demetrio has slowed down. Ablett is catching up. Carlton v Collingwood. Swan gets one vote. Thomas two vote and JUDD GETS THREE. Um. We (Collingwood) won that. Umpires just did that to take the piss out of us. It's okay. Judd won't win. Swan still up by three votes. Just been pointed out on Twitter that Judd had 13 ineffective kicks that game.

Round 18. Goodes just got his 9th vote. Pundits so got it wrong. Was never going to happen. Judd on 16 now. Dal Santo is one behind Swan. Pendles 2 behind.

Bruce is losing his mind.

Brownlow 2011: Disaster Montage

Seven's colour voiceover guy, Neil Kearney. I hate his whining, patronising fucking voice.

Now for a montage tribute to football and natural disasters. With an Neil Kearney voice over. Sounds horrible doesn't it? Well, it's not too bad. But I'd rather they didn't do this stuff.

Hold on. They have a cute little Japanese man who survived the earthquake! Oh, look at him! he doesn't speak english! He's so cute! He has a Carlton jumper under his suit! Isn't footy fantastic to foreign cute people!

Fuck. So patronising.

Just get on with the votes.

Brownlow 2011: I'm Getting Excited

Round 15 and Dane Swan and Scott Pendlebury are up the top with Boyd and Murphy. This is great. Really great. But even better, Sam Mitchell is leading and can't win because he was suspended. At last Swan and Pendles getting the votes they deserve.

Where's Juddy?

Nowhere near the top.

And now a fat and balding bloke in shit suit trying to sell us a gambling addiction. Get out of my TV, fuckwit.

Brownlow 2011: Wear Brown, Not a Frown

Another montage. This one is past winners. My favorite is Graham Teasdale. Look at that suit. You do know it's brown. A very brown suit for the Brownlow. Oh, remember to wear a brown ribbon this Thursday to raise Finals Fever awareness. Because it's a very real problem.

Back to the votes. Pendles is on 16 at Round 13, three clear of the next eligible player. Two suspended Hawthorn players are two behind. Love to be in the Kennett household right now.

Hold on.

I think Bruce's lapels on his black suit are brown!

Brown lapels!

And now the dead star montage. Good blokes. Darryl Baldock. Bobby Davis. Alan Jeans. 

Brownlow 2011: Fast Forward a Few Rounds

Okay we're up to Round 10. I must have fallen asleep or something. Pendles and Swan are in the lead and Judd, the player Channel 7 did their stupid opening montage about, is nowhere near the lead. This is great. Reminds us all of the time the TV station did a big song and dance about Luke Darcy with camera crews in his family house and all sorts of contrived rubbish only to see Darcy get something like two votes.

Pendles is cruising ahead. I think he's going to win it. Seriously. This is great. What a day this could be. After a ridiculously stressful morning trying to get Grand Final tickets, I see Pendles win a Brownlows.

Brownlow 2011: Pendles Off to a Flyer

My wife comma Lucy keeps talking about how boring this awards night is. She wants to put on an awards night that out bores the Brownlows by having a bloke on stage just ranting random numbers for seven hours. I like the sound of it.

Round 3+4+Anzac Day. Pendles is off to a flyer. Gets another few votes. Dane Swan is doing okay too. Love to see them share it. If Demetrio doesn't slow down, he'll explode. I can't stand that Channel 7 voiceover guy called Neil Kearney.

And now for some more sexism talk by that Hamish guy and Rachel Finch about fashions. That's all it is really. Sexism. And it's not fun.

Brownlow 2011: Listen to Tom Hafey

Tom Hafey yesterday.

There's a vitamin ad with Tom Hafey in it. Tom Hafey is one of the best humans ever. Get me drunk one day and I'll tell you my Tom Hafey story. It's not dirty or scandalous or anything. It just goes on to prove that Tom Hafey is one of the best humans ever. So if Tom Hafey is endorsing a brand of vitamins, you better go out ASAP and buy a bottle.

Or you will die of scurvy.