Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Please Wipe Before Entering

Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls....

A stoop of doormats!


Is that you, Chicky?


Oh, how true!

Alaskan Malamute or Siberian Husky? You decide.

Available at Gaymart, the world's largest gay and lesbian shopping catalog.

True dinks.


Best doormat ever.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Was I Right Was I Right Or Was I Right?

I told you Lebanese power-pop kookster, Mika was "going to be huge" way back in July last year.

Guess who hit number one in the UK charts this week.

I'm free for any A&R jobs you may have laying around.

But not for long.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Powerful And Disturbing Advertising

Spotted at Flinders Street Station yesterday.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tom Waits On Don Lane: The Footage!

"You're starting to sweat, Don."

"If you were in my position, you would be too."

Filmed in Channel Nine's Bendigo St studios way back in 1979, Don Lane does his best to interview the 29 year-old Tom Waits.

Then Don joins Tom on the piano for a lovely version of On The Nickel.

For the past 16 years I've been trying to find a copy of this interview and now it's on YouTube!

Here's Tom on Don Lane's show two years later.

Visit TarenFox's YouTube page for hours of Tom Waits interviews and live footage.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Stop It Or You Will Go Blind!

There was a fight outside The Metro where in a 20 man brawl, a bloke was stabbed in the eye, through to the brain WITH A CHAIR LEG, early yesterday morning.

I was in a bar less than 50 meters away when it happened, illustrating a point to a couple of mates with this Venn Diagram.

Perhaps the brawl could have been averted if I drew the warring groups this diagram.

Later we watched the poor fellow loaded into the ambulance with the chair leg still in his eye.

He survived and according to the Herald Sun, is in a stable condition.

Indexed is a full of similar, yet funnier Venn diagrams by blogger, Jessica Hagy.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Melbourne Rocks: The Backlash

After two weeks, 55 comments, 367 band name suggestions to this site and a Swedish spin-off, some of us are already tiring of the Melbourne Rocks game.

I was told that a local band were forced to ban playing the game inside the Tarago on their tour to Adelaide earlier in the week. A couple of its members before the tour left some wittier suggestions on this very blog.

But it was longtime reader/first time caller, K-Pants who emailed me early this week claiming the game jumped the shark at Motley Kew.
Bloody hell was just on NWM looking at the comments. You’re all insane. And glad Jones has decided it’s jumped the shark given he is responsible for the most part.


kind regards,

Leave a comment below and tell us if you want game to die. Or do you reckon we should spark it off again.... but this time with song names.

I've got a few already.

Nighthawks At Gar-Diner
Girlfriend In Tecoma
A Box Hill Of Letters
Macaulay Your Love On Me
The Greatest Love Of Stawell

The Most Important And Interesting Thing I Learned All Week

Rats laugh.

According to Wikipedia, rats "emit short, high frequency, ultrasonic, socially induced vocalization during rough and tumble play, and when tickled."

Unfortunately humans can't hear the laughing without special equipment.

It's also been found they may have a sense of humor.

As part of their scientific paper, beguilingly titled Laughing Rats And The Evolutionary Antecedents Of Human Joy?, Jaak Penkepp and Jeff Burgdorf measured rats' responses to a hilarious series of anecdotes, jokes and limericks.

"We guess you just had to be there."
Just don't get me started on why I googled "rat" in the first place.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Highlights From Black Tuesday

Half the state blacks out on a 41 degree day

Many adventures.

Here's some of the best bits from the Herald Sun.

In the Southgate food court, ice cream shops were giving away melted ice cream and in a super-rare occurrence a Chinese takeaway THREW AWAY SOME FOOD.

In St Kilda Road Towers, pregnant Mary Sussanj and husband Sam Mazar "survived a dark, hot lift."

At Sydenham's Sugargum Hotel...
"TAB operator Louise Leydon had a hard time explaining to frustrated putners that though power was flickering on and off, it wasn't constant enough for them to place a bet."
But PricewaterhouseCoopers employee Haylee Newton was probably Victoria's hardest hit by the blackout.
"I've just walked down 21 flights of stairs to get out of work,"she told the paper.

"And I live in Southbank, so it's going to be another 18 flights up to get back home."
Poor thing.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Melbourne Rocks: The Game

The game is easy. Mix your favorite Melbourne suburb name with a your favorite band or singer's name. Had almost half the Corner Hotel's front bar play the game after The Bees (I mean The Weribees) show last night.

Here's a list of the 75 better combos so far. Help me get the list to the big century double quadruple century (!) by submitting your ideas to the comments bit at the bottom of this list.

Eltham John
The Fountains Of Gate
KD Lang Lang
Carrum Carpenter
Bachman Wantirna Overdrive
My Mornington Jacket
Guns and Rosebud
Mentone As Anything
Four Geelong Blondes
Dandenong Warhols
Williamstowns Van Zandt
Corio Steamwagon
Frankston Sinatra
The Painters And Docklands
Elsternwick Light Orchestra
Olivia Mentone John
Linkin Parkville
You Am Ivanhoe
The Bayswater City Rollers
Beaumaris Frawley
Casey And The Sunshine Band
Peter Hampton
The Tally Ho Betweens
Bright Said Fred
Bentleigh Rhythm Ace
Narre Warren G
Chaddy Cool
Robbie Williamstown
The Bonbeachboys
Watsonia Dada
Carol Kingston
Croydon Orbison
Dead Broadmeadows
The Gypsy Kingsbury
The Kings Of Leongatha
The Cruel Seaford
Essendon Lake & Palmer
Bentleigh Drawn Boy
Liz Phairfield
Carnegie Pop
Joni Mitchum
Boys 2 Mentone
Bentleigh Rhythm Ace
Marilyn Mansfield
Duran Prahran
Fitzroy Orbison
The Clashburton
The Beasts Of Burwood
Belgrave And Sebastion
Langwarrin Zevon
Kew Am I
Westgarth Brooks
The Black Rock Sorrows
The Black Keysborough
Scoresby Stills And Nash
Kew 2
Stone Templestowe Pilots
Fitzroy Orbison
The Jackson Five Ways
Ripponlea Coulter
The Flemington Lips
The Como-dores
Groove Armadadale
Katrina And The Waverleys
Caroline Springsteen
Frankston Goes To Collingwood
Mick Thomastown
Brighton Eyes
Malvern And Shirley

We're at 225! 257 367!

Click the comments to read the rest or add a few of your own.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

My Fish Curry Recipe

Peters'/CIAH Fish Curry
serves 2

two fish fillets chopped up to big pieces
salt & pepper
1/2 teaspoon of cayenne or paprika or cajun spice mix
1/4 cup flour
1 cup vegetable oil
1/4cup shopped spring onion greens
1/2 cup green beans
1/4 cup chopped fresh coriander
1 teaspoon chopped lemon grass
1 or 2 kaffir lime leaves chopped up all nice
1 small green chili seeded and chopped or 1/2 teaspoon crushed green chilli
1/2 teaspoon bottled crushed ginger
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 can of coconut cream or milk
1 tablespoon grated lemon rind
1 splash of COCK Brand fish sauce (optional)

Prep by cutting everything up. Thai curries should be cooked real farken quick with the vegetables still a bit crunchy and fresh tasting, which means prepping is super essential. Remember, not prepping is bogue.

Season the fish with cayenne or paprika, salt and pepper, and dust lightly with flour. heat the oil in a pan and fry the fish until lightly golden on both sides and cooked through (about 4 minutes, depending on thickness of fish). Remove fish with a slotted spoon and set aside.

Drain out the oil, wipe out the pan and return about 1 tablespoon of the oil. Saute the greens, herbs, chili, lemongrass, lime leaves and ginger for about 30 seconds. It's good when the lemongrass gets crispy so put in the lemongrass first.

Add the ground coriander, coconut cream and water. Splash in a bit of COCK brand Fish sauce if you want. Simmer for 5-6 minutes, stirring, until the herbs are all fucked up, add the lemon rind and if you want you can puree in a blender to a smooth sauce. Add water if needed.

Return sauce to pan and check seasoning, adding salt and pepper to taste. Place fish in the sauce to warm gently (don't fully submerge), then serve over white rice.

Top 20 Songs Played On My Ipod 2006

1 This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads
2 I'll Come Running - Brian Eno
3 Train Song - Tom Waits
4 Solitude - Billie Holiday
5 Foolish Love - Rufus Wainwright
6 Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye
7 Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing - Marvin Gaye
8 Please Wake Me Up - Tom Waits
9 Franks' Theme - Tom Waits
10 More Than Rain - Tom Waits
11 Heatwave - Diana Ross & The Supremes
12 I'll Take New York - Tom Waits
13 Yesterday Is Here - Tom Waits
14 Sunswept Sunday - Duke Ellington
15 Blow Wind Blow - Tom Waits
16 Cold Cold Ground - Tom Waits
17 Till The End Of The Day - Big Star
18 I Cover The Waterfront - Billie Holiday
19 Innocent When You Dream - Tom Waits
20 Tired Of Being Alone - Al Green

Obviously, Frank's Wild Years by Tom Waits was my most played album for the year.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

What Some Keanu Fan Did During New Years'

What were you doing on New Years' Day at 3.23am?

I was riding my bike through the city on my way home after a big night on the turps.

Yet Maddie (pictured) from somewhere in the US was busy leaving a 406 word comment on my 2005 story about Keanu Reeves.

Here's the gist.

I always hear someone say. well this man really isnt a great actor. i have seen some of his work and own a great mojority of his movies. and the one i think is kinda weird and gay lol is johnny nemonic. not because of keanu. his acting was swell in that movie. i just dont like movies that are similiar to something like total recal. its to much. i think movies about the future should be saved for the future. well not now a days they really made things alot more beliveable since 2000 but before when they were making movies about the future it was ridiculos. i cant wait to see the night watchman.
And here's my favorite bit.

keanu is an excellent actor and he can plan any modde or emotion and can cry really well. in devils advocate he didnt try to get the cute little cry face. he look so funny. the real face that you would see when a person suffers a tragic moment such as the one he did in the movie.

It seems Maddie's got some pull in the Keanu fan community (yes, that's what they call themselves). Over 150 other fans came to read her comment in the couple of hours afterwards.

They're gone now.