A Loyal Reader Writes

People often write to me for a little bit o' my wisdom. I do my best. Here's something I received earlier today.

Dear Nightwatchman,

My ipod shuffle keeps choosing a Roots Manuva song every second song for around 200 songs when I only have 2 albums and 5 or so extra songs by him.

Kind Regards,

Miss Nonplussed, Carlton North

Thanks for writing, Miss Nonplussed. The shuffle is an interesting and important topic for our times. Not a weekend bbq goes by these days without a discussion on the strange behaviors of our shuffles.

Is the shuffle really random?

Does the shuffle know more than it lets on to know?

If you're thinking of a certain someone and their fave song pops up, does it mean you're both bound to make thousands of babies together?

Geez, I hope not.

As I ponder your query, Miss Nonplussed, a jazzy number from Lalo Schifrin's Dirty Harry soundtrack pops up, followed by the lovely My Morning Jacket ode, Evelyn Is Not Real. Does that mean something? What does it mean? Evelyn? Are you there? Evelyn, are you really real?

The Complete Stax Volt Singles dominates my shuffle. Fair enough, it's a huge box set and I'm not complaining. That's what you get when you put boxes on your ipod.

But there is one record that really gives me the da-dits. The Tiger Lillies & The Kronos Quartet's tribute to Ed Gorey, The Gorey End. The guy's kooky falsetto voice in the Tiger Lillies gives me piles. Sat through a whole song just then.

It hurt.

So my answer to your question, Miss Nonplussed, if it was indeed a question is....

That in these lean times, it's better to be getting lots of Roots than no Roots at all.

Nurse!