Thursday, October 19, 2006

It Seemed A Good Idea At The Time: Five Bogan Business Ventures To Quit Your Day Job For And Start Watching The Money Roll In!

Give a bogan an ABN number and what do you get?

Another fast cash scheme and further in debt!

Jumping Castles R Us!
Buy a jumping castle like this one on Ebay for a few hundred dollars, put an ad in the local papers and watch the money roll in. In only six months you will know the sunny streets of Narre Warren like you grew up there. But watch you don't bounce in on someone else's turf. I've heard the jumping castle runners in Hoppers Crossing will kneecap you and afterwards, politely send you an invoice for their kind efforts.

Sports Memorabilia Franchise
A wise woman from New York once said that men will leave you and so will women but always put your trust in Broadway memorabilia to keep its value. A wise man from Wantirna South also said that framed, autographed photos of Peter Brock are going through the roof, even though Brocky signed, "bloody everything" put in front of him.

Selling Baby Clothes on Ebay
It starts innocently. You put a couple of Country Road blouses on Ebay to see how they go. The pink one sells and the green bombs. Then a sister-in-law says she's going to throw some 'only slightly soiled', size 000 jumpsuits out. You salvage and wack 'em on Ebay. BINGO. 17 bids! You could make some serious money doing this (if you have 17 more sister-in-laws).

Virtual World Real Estate Baron
Move back home, buy a few clunky computers, lock yourself in the shed and survey the lands of Second Life for prime real estate where you can sub-divide and sell off to light deprived, Mum's pizza fed dweebs like yourself. Make sure you put aside a big block of land for your own home...oops, I meant CASTLE, where you can chill out, party or do business.

Go to China. Buy a pallet of tiger print mobile phone skins, prawn peelers, orgasmatrons, fake Gucci sunglasses or Nintaus brand mp3 players and set up a stall at Carribean Gardens. No need to get up early Sunday mornings to tend to the stall. Backpackers will do anything for cash in hand work.

Cash in hand = most bogan phrase ever.

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