Now to buy some brown cardboard and print out a batch.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Nurse, Denton Was Duped!
A big 'ello 'ello to those who come here from my Nurse! comic on Gnomz (a French-based DIY comic maker site, featured on Boing Boing). Ah, France.
Which reminds me. In Stop Smiling magazine (issue 19), there's a nasty review of the book, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Man in the World by A.J Jacobs. For all who haven't caught up with him on the Australian chat circuit, Jacobs is the bloke who decided to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica and write a book about the experience. He was interviewed on Enough Rope With Andrew Denton this week and came across with ill-fitting glasses, bad suit and hair as a no-life dweeb. Exactly as you would expect from a guy who spends his days reading Encyclopedias. Denton, usually a fine interviewer, played along with Jacobs' schtick. Fine.
Back to the Stop Smiling book review by Christopher Stapleton. The first sentence tells us something that Denton doesn't. A.J Jacobs is NOT a no-life dweeb and book -nerd. In fact, he is or was the senior editor of Esquire magazine.
The review goes on to knock Jacobs' "tiresome" writing formula and his "inexplicable, contrived beef with the French." Which is "attempted humor of the worst kind. Jacobs lazily mines bloated, overripe-to-the-point-of-rotten cultural presuppositions of what's funny with the hopes that they'll sustain the reader for almost 400 pages." Ouch.
Back to Enough Rope. If you're not convinced Denton was conned by Jacobs' publicity guff, check out this photo on the Bookreporter website. This is hardly the clutz portrayed (in this photo) on Andrew Denton's show.
Andrew Denton's research is usually spot-on. Did he just coast on this interview?
And another thing. If A.J Jacobs chooses to play characters on the publicity circuit, can we believe he actually read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica? Wonder what was going through his mind when/if he read the encyclopedia entry on Helen Demidenko?
Read the full Denton interview transcript.
Which reminds me. In Stop Smiling magazine (issue 19), there's a nasty review of the book, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Man in the World by A.J Jacobs. For all who haven't caught up with him on the Australian chat circuit, Jacobs is the bloke who decided to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica and write a book about the experience. He was interviewed on Enough Rope With Andrew Denton this week and came across with ill-fitting glasses, bad suit and hair as a no-life dweeb. Exactly as you would expect from a guy who spends his days reading Encyclopedias. Denton, usually a fine interviewer, played along with Jacobs' schtick. Fine.
Back to the Stop Smiling book review by Christopher Stapleton. The first sentence tells us something that Denton doesn't. A.J Jacobs is NOT a no-life dweeb and book -nerd. In fact, he is or was the senior editor of Esquire magazine.
The review goes on to knock Jacobs' "tiresome" writing formula and his "inexplicable, contrived beef with the French." Which is "attempted humor of the worst kind. Jacobs lazily mines bloated, overripe-to-the-point-of-rotten cultural presuppositions of what's funny with the hopes that they'll sustain the reader for almost 400 pages." Ouch.
Back to Enough Rope. If you're not convinced Denton was conned by Jacobs' publicity guff, check out this photo on the Bookreporter website. This is hardly the clutz portrayed (in this photo) on Andrew Denton's show.
Andrew Denton's research is usually spot-on. Did he just coast on this interview?
And another thing. If A.J Jacobs chooses to play characters on the publicity circuit, can we believe he actually read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica? Wonder what was going through his mind when/if he read the encyclopedia entry on Helen Demidenko?
Read the full Denton interview transcript.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
My Gift To Your Inner Self
Now I'm god-like.
Here's my gift to you.
Like Melanie Griffith, when I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers.
Below is one letter I use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the secret of Melanie Griffith's success in order to become closer to you. If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.
With love and respect,
-Glenn
And here's a letter I've prepared for you to use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way (circle one or more): I can deal with one way conversations; piles; cold sores; gastric malfunction; whining checkout kids; Liza Birmingham's official biography of Guy Sebastian; any alcoholic beverage mixed with Coke; skid marks; Amanda Vanstone's stinking fingers; Olympic swimmers; overdue fees; the lack of clean public toilets at my local shops, in order to become closer to you.
If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.
With love and respect,
(Insert your name)
Here's my gift to you.
Like Melanie Griffith, when I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers.
Below is one letter I use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the secret of Melanie Griffith's success in order to become closer to you. If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.
With love and respect,
-Glenn
And here's a letter I've prepared for you to use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way (circle one or more): I can deal with one way conversations; piles; cold sores; gastric malfunction; whining checkout kids; Liza Birmingham's official biography of Guy Sebastian; any alcoholic beverage mixed with Coke; skid marks; Amanda Vanstone's stinking fingers; Olympic swimmers; overdue fees; the lack of clean public toilets at my local shops, in order to become closer to you.
If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.
With love and respect,
(Insert your name)
Monday, March 21, 2005
Melanie Griffith's 'Gift' to Your Inner Self
Melanie Griffith is god-like.
Here's her gift to you.
"When I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers. Whether it’s how to portray a character or how to deal with a crisis in my life, I’ve been lucky to be able to find guidance from within. Because it has been such an incredible gift in my life, I would like to pass it on to you…Before you go to bed at night write to your inner self a letter asking for answers to be revealed to you about something that you need help with. What you seek may come to you in a dream, or the answer may develop first subconsciously and then just take place in your conscious life.
Below is one letter I use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me
in a dream tonight the secret of my success
in order to become closer to you.
With love and respect,
-Melanie
Here is a letter for you to use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way to (insert problem here) in order to become closer to you.
With love and respect,
(Insert your name)
Melanie Online - Welcome
Here's her gift to you.
"When I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers. Whether it’s how to portray a character or how to deal with a crisis in my life, I’ve been lucky to be able to find guidance from within. Because it has been such an incredible gift in my life, I would like to pass it on to you…Before you go to bed at night write to your inner self a letter asking for answers to be revealed to you about something that you need help with. What you seek may come to you in a dream, or the answer may develop first subconsciously and then just take place in your conscious life.
Below is one letter I use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me
in a dream tonight the secret of my success
in order to become closer to you.
With love and respect,
-Melanie
Here is a letter for you to use:
Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way to (insert problem here) in order to become closer to you.
With love and respect,
(Insert your name)
Melanie Online - Welcome
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Mandatory Picture of Polly Holding a Stick
No webpage is complete without a photo of the page owner's cat. Meet Polly. Isn't she marvellous?
PUSSY PROFILE
Full Name: WPC Polly Page (WPC stands for Woman Pussy Cat)
Lives: Surrey Hills, Melbourne
Occupation: Cat
Hobbies: Birds, sleeping, sticks, ping-pong balls, bags (all types) and slot cars.
Favorite Food: Chicken necks, sweet potato and anything still living
Favorite Movie: Singing in the Rain
Favorite Record: The Storytelling soundtrack by Belle & Sebastian
Favorite Colour: Pink
Who Would You Invite For The Perfect Dinner Party? David Bellamy, Barry (ex next-door neighbour), Donovan, June Ackland, Jim Carver and anyone else who loves bags.
In 5 Years You Will Be: Waking Glenn and Genevieve up.
Catch Phrase: Weeoo
Motto: Have a good time, all of the time.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Innat Noice
Katia of Katia's World found the previous post about her site and posted this rooly noice stuff.....
"Well it appears my 15 minutes of fame have arrived. The funniest man alive has announced on his genius website that I am the funniest person he has met. How could it be? The most talented writer, most knowledgable music nerd, wittiest, cleverest, man full of the most interesting useless trivia claims I am the funniest person he has met? Oh the hilarity."
Go to Katia's World for complete post and an incriminating photo of myself and the super-famous to all who read Indian travel diaries, Beck Jobson.
"Well it appears my 15 minutes of fame have arrived. The funniest man alive has announced on his genius website that I am the funniest person he has met. How could it be? The most talented writer, most knowledgable music nerd, wittiest, cleverest, man full of the most interesting useless trivia claims I am the funniest person he has met? Oh the hilarity."
Go to Katia's World for complete post and an incriminating photo of myself and the super-famous to all who read Indian travel diaries, Beck Jobson.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Ba-Katia's World
Yay! I was fiddlin' about looking at techno pages and found long lost friend and really the funniest person I have ever met, Katia Zanutta, has her own website. Katia used to edit Melbourne's Zebra Magazine when I was editing at Inpress. Now she lives in a place called Hove in East Sussex, UK.
Our desks were next to each other and we spent the entire days yelling at each other and everyone else in the office. All in good fun, of course. She would only quiet and polite herself to bits when one of her freak writers, photographers or record company reps came in to deliver their guff.
As soon as they leave, she would scream out in pain like an angry extremist. "HOW DISTURBING!"
Katia Zanutta. Genius.
Katia's World
Our desks were next to each other and we spent the entire days yelling at each other and everyone else in the office. All in good fun, of course. She would only quiet and polite herself to bits when one of her freak writers, photographers or record company reps came in to deliver their guff.
As soon as they leave, she would scream out in pain like an angry extremist. "HOW DISTURBING!"
Katia Zanutta. Genius.
Katia's World
Monday, March 07, 2005
Naughty Cat! You Can't Come In!
"The Flo Control Project uses a webcam to do facial recognition as authentication to open a cat door for the family cat. If the cat has something in its mouth or some other animal approaches the door, it does not open. If the cat approaches with nothing in its mouth, then the door unlocks."
Is there anything a nerd can't do?
Found on the wonderful, gotta-look-at-it-every-single-day website, Boing Boing.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Lifestyles Of The Rich And Infamous
I wrote this awhile ago to appear on World Vision's Stir website.
North Korea's "Dear and Hungry Leader" Kim Jong-il
Kim Jong-il was born in Siberia in 1941 during his dad, Kim Il-sung's period of exile in the former Soviet Union. But official accounts say he was born in a log cabin at his father's guerrilla base on North Korea's highest mountain - an event marked by a double rainbow and a bright star in the sky. Nice.
His cheerleaders also reckon Jong-il's written six operas in two years and designed the real big Juche tower in Pyongyang, though knockers in South Korea see him as a reclusive playboy with permed hair and platform shoes.
Also he's known as one of the world's great foodies, loving sashimi carved from a live fish and pizza. But no, Kim's got no time for anchovies. Ex presidential chef, Kenji Fujimoto, says he was sent to Iran and Uzbekistan to buy caviar, to Denmark to buy pork, to western China to buy grapes, and to Thailand for mangos and papayas.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
I’m On My Way #1
What you’ll be talking about in months to come….
Wayne Carey: Sleazy has-been or one of football's better commentators?
The Sunday Age going tabloid.
The Black Dhalia.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Newspaper Obsessed With Sex Furore
If you have a dirty mind (who hasn't?), keep a good eye on newspaper headlines. Here's a few from today's Herald Sun.
SINGLE BLOW FELLED MAN OUTSIDE PUB
I'LL BE BLOWED, SAYS PIPER
CRACK THE BUBBLY, IT'S MY BIG NIGHT
WARM WELCOME TOUCHES COUPLE
WE'VE GIVEN ENOUGH
Friday, February 18, 2005
How's He Building In There
"This page is real dandy. How on earth do you do it?"
Why, thanks for asking. You're not the only one. You're not the only one with mixed emotions.
First, this page yer looking at is hosted by Blogger. You sign up for a free account and a blog page is set up real easy. They also supply this page's template. That's why it looks so pretty. I had nothing to do with it.
So your page is set up. Now you want to put stuff on it. Easy. Log into your Blogger account and "create post." Type something witty and wa-hey, its published on the web for you automatically.
For pictures I set up a free Flcker account. Flcker is a place you can put photos from your computer to the web. Its a bit like having another c drive. Flcker's especially handy because there's a button on their page which connects you automatically to your Blogger account. Both services get along well with each other. Flcker and Blogger kissing in a tree....
For advertising revenue (Yes, I get a little bit. True dinks) I've set up an account with Google Adsense. To get the ads on my page I've had to cutandpaste a little bit of html code into the template in my Blogger account. With Adsense on your page, Google pay you a little bit of money whenever a visitor to yer site clicks on one of the ads on your page. Look to the right side, yeah. There they are. Give 'em a click. C'mon!
To count the people who come to my site, I use Statcounter. I prefer using this service because it was the only free invisible counter I could find and you can set it up to count on more than one website.
For free Scrabble I can only recommend the Internet Scrabble Club where my name is gopies.
My fave computer game at the moment is Harpoon. For downloading music/games/programs I use Shareaza and mostly visit The Pirate Bay to pick up bit torrents.
My fave pirate rock band is The Decemberists.
Why, thanks for asking. You're not the only one. You're not the only one with mixed emotions.
First, this page yer looking at is hosted by Blogger. You sign up for a free account and a blog page is set up real easy. They also supply this page's template. That's why it looks so pretty. I had nothing to do with it.
So your page is set up. Now you want to put stuff on it. Easy. Log into your Blogger account and "create post." Type something witty and wa-hey, its published on the web for you automatically.
For pictures I set up a free Flcker account. Flcker is a place you can put photos from your computer to the web. Its a bit like having another c drive. Flcker's especially handy because there's a button on their page which connects you automatically to your Blogger account. Both services get along well with each other. Flcker and Blogger kissing in a tree....
For advertising revenue (Yes, I get a little bit. True dinks) I've set up an account with Google Adsense. To get the ads on my page I've had to cutandpaste a little bit of html code into the template in my Blogger account. With Adsense on your page, Google pay you a little bit of money whenever a visitor to yer site clicks on one of the ads on your page. Look to the right side, yeah. There they are. Give 'em a click. C'mon!
To count the people who come to my site, I use Statcounter. I prefer using this service because it was the only free invisible counter I could find and you can set it up to count on more than one website.
For free Scrabble I can only recommend the Internet Scrabble Club where my name is gopies.
My fave computer game at the moment is Harpoon. For downloading music/games/programs I use Shareaza and mostly visit The Pirate Bay to pick up bit torrents.
My fave pirate rock band is The Decemberists.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
All Hail The Gay Messiah
Gee, haven't done much on this and But I Want an Interesting Job in the last few days. Why? Cos' for the past week I've been hunting for crocodiles in the Melbourne water system. Fruitless work. Saw some ducks though.
Went to see Rufus Wainwright on at the Manchester Lane jazz place on Sunday night. Stunning performance. Just Rufus, a piano, a guitar and an incredibly gay, skin-tight Italian, retro police shirt. I don't think I've ever heard a more gobsmacked crowd. When Rufus sang, we were silent and when he stopped we went ga ga. I've been fetal ever since. Beautiful, beautiful show.
And what are these cats doing? Getting ready for space travel, sir!
Friday, February 04, 2005
Political Materials "Dangerous"
Just got back from watching the Heineken Golf Classic at Royal Melbourne (Australia). The disclaimer on the back of the ticket is incredible.
"You cannot bring the following items into the venue: weapons, flares; fireworks; explosives; smoke bombs; illegal substances; alcohol; poles; step ladders; musical instruments; horns; banners; flags; animals (except for official guide dogs); signs; balls; frisbees; any politcal, religious or race related materials; or any other dangerous items."
So there you go. Protest against Australia's shabby treatment of its nationals in Guantanamo Bay, our abhorrent refugee policy or even the scourge of slow-playing golfers and security will throw you out of the golf course.
As far as "religious or race related materials" goes, would that include the wearing of a turban?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I'm So Proud
This is brilliant. Just found out that in 2001 I was put on a list which appeared on a North Melbourne footy website listing "media bastards and bitches that run our club down..."
Here's what a reprobate called "Darky" reckons about me.
"The unlikliest of sources brings another contender...
Melbourne's "InPress" freebie magazine. Some turd called Glenn Peters on page 71 (2/5/01) has an absolute bitch about Carey and Pagan and how much he hates our club, in his weekly column.
Just a few hints Glenn :
1. You are not a music journalist
2. You are definietely not a sports journalist
3. Your 15 minutes of nowhere-near-fame is a weekly column stuck next to the classified ads in a free newspaper that gets picked up, scoured over for five minutes, and chucked in the bin or left on train seats. Life has passed you by, you little shit.
4. In return for your apparent hatred of Wayne Carey, you are so insignificant he will never know you are alive. How does that make you feel... hate, hate, hate and you will never get a bite back.
5. If you're gonna write for a free magazine, try Beat or MX, loser!"
I protest. While I agree with most of point 3, I have to tells ya, I'm not too little.
Here's what a reprobate called "Darky" reckons about me.
"The unlikliest of sources brings another contender...
Melbourne's "InPress" freebie magazine. Some turd called Glenn Peters on page 71 (2/5/01) has an absolute bitch about Carey and Pagan and how much he hates our club, in his weekly column.
Just a few hints Glenn :
1. You are not a music journalist
2. You are definietely not a sports journalist
3. Your 15 minutes of nowhere-near-fame is a weekly column stuck next to the classified ads in a free newspaper that gets picked up, scoured over for five minutes, and chucked in the bin or left on train seats. Life has passed you by, you little shit.
4. In return for your apparent hatred of Wayne Carey, you are so insignificant he will never know you are alive. How does that make you feel... hate, hate, hate and you will never get a bite back.
5. If you're gonna write for a free magazine, try Beat or MX, loser!"
I protest. While I agree with most of point 3, I have to tells ya, I'm not too little.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
How to Cheat the Casino
Stay home.
Blow the place up.
Throw your money at ducks.
Or...
"Casinos across the South have caught several crews using light-wands against the region's slots but the casino industry refuses to take the threat seriously. Despite a handful of arrests, several adept crews continue to operate quite profitably."
Richard Marcus is a "professional" (?) casino cheat. His webdiary is almost the only interesting casino related website on the internet.
True dinks.
He wrote the book, American Roulette: How I Turned the Odds Upside Down-My Wild 25 Year Ride Ripping Off the World's Casinos.
Blow the place up.
Throw your money at ducks.
Or...
"Casinos across the South have caught several crews using light-wands against the region's slots but the casino industry refuses to take the threat seriously. Despite a handful of arrests, several adept crews continue to operate quite profitably."
Richard Marcus is a "professional" (?) casino cheat. His webdiary is almost the only interesting casino related website on the internet.
True dinks.
He wrote the book, American Roulette: How I Turned the Odds Upside Down-My Wild 25 Year Ride Ripping Off the World's Casinos.
Incredible TV Performance
Rarely do you see and hear a band so beautifully as And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead on Letterman tonight. I'm stunned. Life changing? Perhaps.
Lucky you can download a torrent of the performance here, via the band's official archive site.
Do it now.
Lucky you can download a torrent of the performance here, via the band's official archive site.
Do it now.
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