Captains' Preview: Cords and Gimp

I play cricket for the Abbotsford Anglers, the greatest cricket club in the world.

When teams are announced, me and Cords, the club president, take turns in writing captains' previews. Here it is for today's games.

With all the limited toilets this week and Angler Gravy (trots), going around in the 12/13 season, let's have a look at our captains' dietary requirements. 

Cords.
Meat preference: Anything from the meat tray won at the Laird Hotel's trivia night win earlier in the week.
Bar meal order: Mixed grill Would you like the veges or salad & chips with that? Just chips, thanks.
Quickeze or Mylanta: Mylanta. Definitely Mylanta.

Gimp.
Meat preference: Sensible portions. 
Bar meal order: Kids fish'n'chips
Would you like the veges or salad & chips with that? Veges. And salad. And chips.
Quickeeze or Mylanta: Prefers to ride above it.

My Review of Anthony Hopkins' Hitchcock Movie.

One more thing.

Two makeup artists spent at least 90 minutes each morning perfecting Anthony Hopkins' look, using £50,000 worth of prosthetics and a 'fat suit'. While three ex Hallmark bereavement card writers spent half a day and £195 (inc VAT) sucking all the life out of the screenplay.