Nurse, Denton Was Duped!

A big 'ello 'ello to those who come here from my Nurse! comic on Gnomz (a French-based DIY comic maker site, featured on Boing Boing). Ah, France.

Which reminds me. In Stop Smiling magazine (issue 19), there's a nasty review of the book, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Man in the World by A.J Jacobs. For all who haven't caught up with him on the Australian chat circuit, Jacobs is the bloke who decided to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica and write a book about the experience. He was interviewed on Enough Rope With Andrew Denton this week and came across with ill-fitting glasses, bad suit and hair as a no-life dweeb. Exactly as you would expect from a guy who spends his days reading Encyclopedias. Denton, usually a fine interviewer, played along with Jacobs' schtick. Fine.

Back to the Stop Smiling book review by Christopher Stapleton. The first sentence tells us something that Denton doesn't. A.J Jacobs is NOT a no-life dweeb and book -nerd. In fact, he is or was the senior editor of Esquire magazine.

The review goes on to knock Jacobs' "tiresome" writing formula and his "inexplicable, contrived beef with the French." Which is "attempted humor of the worst kind. Jacobs lazily mines bloated, overripe-to-the-point-of-rotten cultural presuppositions of what's funny with the hopes that they'll sustain the reader for almost 400 pages." Ouch.

Back to Enough Rope. If you're not convinced Denton was conned by Jacobs' publicity guff, check out this photo on the Bookreporter website. This is hardly the clutz portrayed (in this photo) on Andrew Denton's show.

Andrew Denton's research is usually spot-on. Did he just coast on this interview?

And another thing. If A.J Jacobs chooses to play characters on the publicity circuit, can we believe he actually read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica? Wonder what was going through his mind when/if he read the encyclopedia entry on Helen Demidenko?

Read the full Denton interview transcript.

Cuckold

My Gift To Your Inner Self

Now I'm god-like.

Here's my gift to you.

Like Melanie Griffith, when I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers.

Below is one letter I use:

Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the secret of Melanie Griffith's success in order to become closer to you. If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.

With love and respect,
-Glenn

And here's a letter I've prepared for you to use:

Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way (circle one or more): I can deal with one way conversations; piles; cold sores; gastric malfunction; whining checkout kids; Liza Birmingham's official biography of Guy Sebastian; any alcoholic beverage mixed with Coke; skid marks; Amanda Vanstone's stinking fingers; Olympic swimmers; overdue fees; the lack of clean public toilets at my local shops, in order to become closer to you.

If you can't come up with that, a dirty dream starring a pre-plastic surgery Melanie Griffith and an adolescent giraffe will suffice.

With love and respect,
(Insert your name)

Melanie Griffith's 'Gift' to Your Inner Self

Melanie Griffith is god-like.

Here's her gift to you.

"When I have questions in my life I look to my inner conscience for answers. Whether it’s how to portray a character or how to deal with a crisis in my life, I’ve been lucky to be able to find guidance from within. Because it has been such an incredible gift in my life, I would like to pass it on to you…Before you go to bed at night write to your inner self a letter asking for answers to be revealed to you about something that you need help with. What you seek may come to you in a dream, or the answer may develop first subconsciously and then just take place in your conscious life.
Below is one letter I use:

Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me
in a dream tonight the secret of my success
in order to become closer to you.

With love and respect,
-Melanie

Here is a letter for you to use:

Dear Inner Self,
If it is your will, please reveal to me in a dream tonight the positive way to (insert problem here) in order to become closer to you.

With love and respect,
(Insert your name)

Melanie Online - Welcome

The 2nd Greatest Photo of All Time

The 2nd Greatest Photo of All Time, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Stay tuned for the greatest....

Mandatory Picture of Polly Holding a Stick

Mandatory Picture of Polly Holding a Stick, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

No webpage is complete without a photo of the page owner's cat. Meet Polly. Isn't she marvellous?

PUSSY PROFILE

Full Name: WPC Polly Page (WPC stands for Woman Pussy Cat)
Lives: Surrey Hills, Melbourne
Occupation: Cat
Hobbies: Birds, sleeping, sticks, ping-pong balls, bags (all types) and slot cars.
Favorite Food: Chicken necks, sweet potato and anything still living
Favorite Movie: Singing in the Rain
Favorite Record: The Storytelling soundtrack by Belle & Sebastian
Favorite Colour: Pink
Who Would You Invite For The Perfect Dinner Party? David Bellamy, Barry (ex next-door neighbour), Donovan, June Ackland, Jim Carver and anyone else who loves bags.
In 5 Years You Will Be: Waking Glenn and Genevieve up.
Catch Phrase: Weeoo
Motto: Have a good time, all of the time.

Innat Noice

Katia of Katia's World found the previous post about her site and posted this rooly noice stuff.....

"Well it appears my 15 minutes of fame have arrived. The funniest man alive has announced on his genius website that I am the funniest person he has met. How could it be? The most talented writer, most knowledgable music nerd, wittiest, cleverest, man full of the most interesting useless trivia claims I am the funniest person he has met? Oh the hilarity."

Go to Katia's World for complete post and an incriminating photo of myself and the super-famous to all who read Indian travel diaries, Beck Jobson.

Ba-Katia's World

Yay! I was fiddlin' about looking at techno pages and found long lost friend and really the funniest person I have ever met, Katia Zanutta, has her own website. Katia used to edit Melbourne's Zebra Magazine when I was editing at Inpress. Now she lives in a place called Hove in East Sussex, UK.

Our desks were next to each other and we spent the entire days yelling at each other and everyone else in the office. All in good fun, of course. She would only quiet and polite herself to bits when one of her freak writers, photographers or record company reps came in to deliver their guff.

As soon as they leave, she would scream out in pain like an angry extremist. "HOW DISTURBING!"

Katia Zanutta. Genius.
Katia's World

Naughty Cat! You Can't Come In!

Let Me In. I'll Be Good, I Swear, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

"The Flo Control Project uses a webcam to do facial recognition as authentication to open a cat door for the family cat. If the cat has something in its mouth or some other animal approaches the door, it does not open. If the cat approaches with nothing in its mouth, then the door unlocks."

Is there anything a nerd can't do?

Found on the wonderful, gotta-look-at-it-every-single-day website, Boing Boing.

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Infamous

kim_jong_il_goblet, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

I wrote this awhile ago to appear on World Vision's Stir website.

North Korea's "Dear and Hungry Leader" Kim Jong-il

Kim Jong-il was born in Siberia in 1941 during his dad, Kim Il-sung's period of exile in the former Soviet Union. But official accounts say he was born in a log cabin at his father's guerrilla base on North Korea's highest mountain - an event marked by a double rainbow and a bright star in the sky. Nice.

His cheerleaders also reckon Jong-il's written six operas in two years and designed the real big Juche tower in Pyongyang, though knockers in South Korea see him as a reclusive playboy with permed hair and platform shoes.

Also he's known as one of the world's great foodies, loving sashimi carved from a live fish and pizza. But no, Kim's got no time for anchovies. Ex presidential chef, Kenji Fujimoto, says he was sent to Iran and Uzbekistan to buy caviar, to Denmark to buy pork, to western China to buy grapes, and to Thailand for mangos and papayas.

I’m On My Way #1

What you’ll be talking about in months to come….

Wayne Carey: Sleazy has-been or one of football's better commentators?

The Sunday Age going tabloid.

The Black Dhalia.

The Congo.

Rilo Kiley.

Newspaper Obsessed With Sex Furore

Infamy, They've All Got It In For Me!, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

If you have a dirty mind (who hasn't?), keep a good eye on newspaper headlines. Here's a few from today's Herald Sun.

SINGLE BLOW FELLED MAN OUTSIDE PUB

I'LL BE BLOWED, SAYS PIPER

CRACK THE BUBBLY, IT'S MY BIG NIGHT

WARM WELCOME TOUCHES COUPLE

WE'VE GIVEN ENOUGH