What does the Herald Sun run with on their front page?
The Chris Tarrant and Ben Johnson pub brawl story.
It also takes up the back page and pages 2, 92 and 93.
At least in the page two story, Brawl Ends A Glitzy Night a witness introduced readers to a charming new subculture.
Ocean Blue has developed a strong following among footballers since opening this year, taking over from the Beach on Beaconsfield Pde as a destination of choice.
"It's full of inner-city CUBs (cashed-up bogans)," one Middle Park local told the Herald Sun.
Pot kettle black, anyone?