Monday, June 19, 2006

Nick Barker Is The Wisest Man On Earth

There was a sad bloke who thought he had a problem. He'd heard about a wise guru, Nick Barker of Nick Barker & The Reptiles fame, who had answers to difficult questions.

He decided to find this man.

After a long and difficult journey, he ended up at a temple high upon a mountaintop. I believe it may have been Mount Waverley. He entered and found the guru meditating, listening to some old Replacements records. The guru, sensing the man's presence, opened his eyes and looked up.

Nick Barker: Mate, I see you have a problem.

Man: Yes. That's amazing! How did you know?

Nick Barker: Actually, you have 83 problems.

Man: Well fuck me! It's worse than I thought! 83 problems! What on earth should I do?

Nick Barker: Solve them.

Man: OK… I guess I can work on that. When I solve my 83 problems, then what happens?

Nick Barker: You get 83 more.

Man: What the?!?!?

Nick Barker: Actually, mate. Everyone, every single human being, has 83 problems , from the homeless peasant, to the leader of your country. And actually, some people have 84 problems.

Man: What's the 84th problem?

Nick Barker: The 84th problem is when you believe that you're the only other freak that has 83 problems. This is truly the greatest problem.

Do you have 83 problems? Great. Get your thumb out of your arse and solve them. Do you believe you're the only person that has 83 problems? Then you have 84. Solve that one first, then work on the other 83.

Paraphrased from Human Being Curious via Seth Godin's Blog.

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