Tuesday, April 30, 2002

I LOVE THIS SITE!!!!! www.hungrybutscared.com It's just way to good!

Saturday, April 27, 2002

Tuesday, April 23, 2002

A hospital ball is sponsored by a cigar company. We live in strange times.
Congratulations, you've won the golf tournament! Here's your lovely looking trophy!

Monday, April 22, 2002

From Timothy McSweeney's Unreserved Embrace

Rapper Or Toiletry Product?

1. Suave
2. Nice & Smooth
3. Soft & Gentle
4. Shyne
5. All Fresh
6. All Natural
7. Remedy
8. D-Flame
9. Cream Silk
10. Volume 10
11. Dimension
12. Cool Breeze
13. Smooth Appeal
14. Q-Tip

Toiletry: 1, 3, 5, 9, 11, and 13.
Rapper: 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, and 12.
Both toiletry and rapper: 14.

Friday, April 19, 2002

You have to buy yourself a copy of Darren Hanlon's new record, Hello Stranger. It sounds like he's a big Jonathon Richman fan. Always a good thing.
I need to stay at the Madonna Inn. A hotel with 109 individually themed rooms.

The Safari Room is great "if you like Tigers, Leopards, Zebras and Elephants, you will love this room! Decor in the bathroom also carries out the bold “Safari” theme, with rock waterfall shower. Room is equipped with two king-sized beds."

Make sure you visit the Madonna Suite, "decorated by incorporating the color schemes, furnishings, and basic ideas favored through the years by Alex and Phyllis Madonna. The huge rock fireplace, unique rock waterfall sink and shower in the bathroom, tones of reds and pinks, and the use of crystal all play a part in making this fanciful hideaway a favorite."

My personal favorite is the All American Suite which is a "tastefully decorated in early American furniture, it offers two king-sized beds, a 7-foot bathtub and double sinks. The focal point is a colossal fireplace of natural white stone. Easy chairs of red, white and blue leather add to the comfort and luxury of this patriotic paradise."

Saturday, April 13, 2002

A list of Net 50 recipes....

George’s Angels On Horseback oysters, wrapped in bacon
Marilyn Manson’s Devils On Horseback prunes wrapped in bacon
Gomez’s antipasto platter eclectic mix of cold meats, olives and cheeses
Faithless’s Crazy English Summer Salad Haddock and iceberg lettuce with generous pinch of rocksalt and rocket
Mr Oysterhead prefers his oysters with nothing a generous squeeze of lemon
Alex Lloyd’s Green Bananna Curry
Daft Punk’s Savory Cheese Tarlets
Thom Yorke’s Special Goat Vindaloo

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

I wrote this review for Beat Magazine.

Pretty Together

Right now, Sloan could be one of the best live bands in the world. Those who were lucky enough to see these super talented, good lookin’ and tea totallin’ Canadians when they visited in 1999 would mostly agree. To get an almost full Prince Of Wales (hotel, not the mourning English chap) singing along to a song they have never heard before is heresy in the current must-not-smile-and enjoy-ourselves-or-admit-to-loving-rock-just-keep-the-marketing-machine-rolling-smoothly era.

Back then they were touring with the amazing album, Between The Bridges. That record was a slow burner, so slow that in an interview I gave one of the poor members a grilling over the phone accusing them of the weird and made-up crime of being “very medium”. Imagine my embarrassment when, by the time Sloan were in Melbourne I had to recant and admit that I had made a stupidly ambit claim. This brings us to the new record, Pretty Together. This time I can’t make the same mistake. You see, local record company reason saw fit not to release Pretty Together until now, when for everywhere else in the world, the album came out around November last year. I payed around $17 million for it on import at the time, played it to death for a month and found I didn’t like it much. Yes, for the same reasons as their previous record. Today I turn it on and, what the fuck was I thinking, this is an awesome record. Last year, The Life Of A Working Girl seemed creepy and inept, now I get it, it’s and pretty and obscure love song. With the backward guitar sweep in the background, it’s supposed to be creepy. Never Seeing The Ground For The Sky is a belter. Get the lyric sheet out and scream along. It’s In Your Eye is classic Sloan, combining a belting rhythm, subtle three part harmonies and superbly dumb lyrics, “You’re so crazy, crazy for me and I don’t know why, yeah I don’t know why,” while album opener If It Feels Good Do It is just big, dumb and delicious rock. And check this out, Pick It Up And Dial is a rock’n’roll infomercial with Gene Simmons like screams of “People people. This is a poll. Are you one of the ones who went and gave up on rock’n’roll?” Dicky? Yes. Brilliant? Indeed.

So, there you go. After over four months I’ve come around to loving this new Sloan album. It’s almost perfect and I only realise when I was singing along with In The Movies in the shower this morning. Only goes to prove one thing, familiarity does breed content.

Tuesday, April 09, 2002

Penthouse magazine is going out of business, according to the NY Times.

Monday, April 08, 2002

Went to see Steve Earle last night. Sure, he's known for bringing country rock back to its dirty origins but really, he's got to be inducted to the hall of fame for having the best comb-over in the history of rock'n'roll....
From The Times....

THE Glastonbury Festival is about to enter a new corporate era with door-to-door helicopter rides bypassing the huge tailback of hippy camper vans.

This year Glastonbury welcomes a new breed of festivalgoers who have pencilled in the three-day jamboree alongside Glyndebourne and Henley in the social season.

Almost 100,000 tickets have been sold for the festival, which begins on June 28, where the headline acts are rumoured to include Rod Stewart and the Stereophonics.

Corporate packages are selling fast for Glastonbury “virgins” who want to sample the famous atmosphere of hippy eccentricity without the unpleasantness associated with camping in a field with the mud-encrusted hordes.

For £4,000 a helicopter will pick up a visiting party from the back garden, fly over the traditional 20-mile traffic jam leading to Worthy Farm and dispatch guests in a sealed-off, mud-free VIP marquee bordering the site.

Inside ticket-holders will lounge on cushions, sofas and armchairs while high-quality cuisine and drink is served around the clock. They will be joined by many of the star bands, who have signed up to take the corporate package, rather than enjoy the delights of a backstage camper van.

Mark Edgley, of flyglastonbury.com, said: “This is the new way to ‘do’ Glastonbury. We have 11 choppers ready to go and we will pick people up from their back gardens and offer them 24-hour hospitality on site. A lot of the bookings have come from the bands themselves.”

Those pesky monkeys!

Tuesday April 2, 2:11 PM

Monkeys destroy library, stall classes in girls' college

By Indo-Asian News Service

Kolkata, Apr 2 (IANS) Scores of monkeys have swamped a girls' college in the hill resort of Darjeeling in eastern India, destroying thousands of books, stalling classes, clawing and slapping the students.

The monkeys have torn to shreds at least 6,000 books in the library and broken furniture. The damage to property caused by them exceeds Rs.60,000.

Residential students and teacher of Loreto College in Darjeeling, about 625 km north from here, are now under constant fear of a repeat attack from the monkeys, which have made the college precincts their home.

College authorities say the aggressive animals were unafraid of human beings. The truant monkeys have destroyed the college library, clawed and slapped students and invaded classrooms bringing lessons to an abrupt halt.

The college canteen has been a favourite haunt for the monkeys and students have reported instances of food packets being snatched by the animals.

Help had been sought from the district authorities, but till now nothing had been done to "mitigate our sufferings," a teacher said.

Monkey attacks are a seasonal menace in the Darjeeling hills. The girls' college came under their attack last year as well.

The district authorities say their hands are tied as local residents oppose any action against the monkeys, considered scared by Hindus.

District forest officials say after receiving complaints from Loreto College last year, they had captured 30 monkeys and released them in a faraway jungle. But the local residents opposed that and stuck posters on walls condemning the action.

"So, this year we don't know what to do," a confused forest official said.