Thursday, December 01, 2011

From The Archives: Ten Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch Another Idol Grand Final

Found this in my old document files. Can't remember if I published it back then...

Nice to see Channel Ten cut down the Australian Idol Final to a measly four hours.  Most years the final's gone for six to seven hours so last night's bunch of sponsor generated filler seemed to fly. 

Though I did shudder every time one of the hosts threatened to have another look at the the final two contestants' (I've already forgotten their names) JOURNEYS to get where they were blah blah yawn piddle pus yawn.....

Anyway, as promised ten things I'd rather do than endure another Australian Idol Grand Final™.

Lynch the Maybelline Style Team. 

Visit Quambatook, Australia's home of the mighty sport of Tractor Pulling!

Read every single word of the Cole Inquiry's 1000 page report into AWB's dodgy work in Iraq.  Twice.

Scalp, mince and make burgers out of the smarmy kids in the McDonalds Make Your Own Choice advertisements.

Interview Guy Sebastian about his new album.  Everyone else has.  I'm sure he's got something interesting to say.

See The Black Dahlia again.  Maybe not.

Queue to see last year's Idol favorite, Dan Englund headline at The Empress.  What?  His gig was last Saturday night and I missed it?  I'm so bad with dates.

Watch the grand final episode of Dancing With The Stars.  Again, maybe not.

Apply for the job as the driver of Luna Park's big dipper.  Yes, it's the only one in the world with a driver.  He just stands there in the middle caboose holding a big brake lever.  No seat-belts.  Nothing.  And he doesn't care.  In-fact, he looks real bored with his job.  It's incredible.

Collect moths.