I have no job, interesting or otherwise.
The economists reckon I should have a job by now 'cos it's a 'jobseekers market'.
The government reckon it's because I'm failing to meet my mutual obligations.
The pundits at Crikey reckon it's because I was once a unionist.
The people at the gym say it's because I'm not doing enough reps.
John Lennon reckons it's because I'm a dreamer but luckily I'm not the only one.
The mystics believe it's because I'm cursed.
Mark Latham reckons it's because my parents never read to me and that I'm a suckhole.
Nobody cares what the federal opposition have to say of the matter.
Germaine Greer reckons it's because employers are scared of boys who refuse to 'grow up'.
The horoscopes reckon it's because my moon's got crabs.
Brian Wilson just guesses I wasn't made for these times.
Australian Idol's Mark Holden reckons he's seen me perform well but hasn't yet seen me take my performance to the next level.
The guy who fixes my tires reckons my career is only flat on the bottom.
I'm with the mystics.