Friday, December 23, 2005

I Canna Get It Any Cuter, Captain!

I'm a big bloke, over six feet tall and well over 100 kilograms. I love my footy. I'm accomplished at the fine art of barbeque. I've even been known to go to the car racing.

But there's something particularly girly I can't resist.

Pictures of cute kittens.

The funny bastards at Cute Overload "scour the Web for only the finest in Cute Imagery™. Imagery that is Worth Your Internet Browsing Time."

And I can't get enough of it.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

See You Again At Tooth Hurty

I've just spent most of today in pain at the dental hospital. A back molar needed to be pulled out.

Had a student. He was good but not good enough. An hour an a half at pulling at my tooth and he still couldn't get it out.

On top of that, nobody, him, his mates or supervisor, could get the anesthetic to work in the exact place they were pulling.

Ow times 1000.

Then get this. They had to give up. Too many anesthetic shots and still "the patient is not yet aneasthitised." I have to go back again on Thursday for the class to try again.

Yes, to start over.

Tooth still in and hurting.

Bonus. I have to go back again again in January for them to have a shot at getting my wisdom teeth out.

Ow times infinity.

Double bonus. Super strong antibiotics so I won't be allowed to drink at all during Christmas.

I need to lie down now.

Friday, December 16, 2005

You Know Where You Pick Up A Barracouta?

Grimy, tanned and wearing a FUBU wind jacket. Very low St Kilda.

"I'm 44 and haven't worked for over three years. I used to work at Fawkner Cemetery. I was a landscape gardener."

"Yeah, I dug graves. What do YOU reckon?"

He didn't look 44.

"I got a redundancy. You know what a redundancy is? Now I go fishing. What else is there to do?"

The two fish in his bucket were drastically undersized. He said he was going to eat one and the other, he would give to his mother.

"I've got no friends."

I thought he was talking about bait and he wanted bread. "You've got no bread? I've got some. Want some pipis?"

"I've got no friends."

Instead he was setting the bait. "But you have family," I said. "What about your sister, your mother?"

"My sister? She's gone years ago. And you know what my mother says? What she said to me this morning? Why don't you go fishing? And where do you pick up a barracouta?"

Back to fishing talk. I've heard him give the tip already five times. His look was stern as if I'm the bad son."No, where do you pick them up?"

"The GILLS..... The GILLS. You pick up barracoutas by the GILLS. Anywhere else is too dangerous."

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Meredith Come Down Explained

It's Thursday after last weekend's Meredith Music Festival and I reckon I'm ready to tells you all about it. Well, not all. Telling all would be quite unlady-like. NURSE?!?

Let's keep it to the onstage performances.

Eddy Current Supression Ring
The singer bloke wore surf/skate apparel and a pair of black leather gloves. Had a brief argument with a mate as to why the gloves. Mate argued "to look cool and ironic," while I pushed the "burns patient" defense. We only agreed on one thing. Eddy Current Whatever Ring are not our thing.

Sons And Daughters
All over the place songs in 1990's chic Glaswegian accents. Nice frocks but.

The Kills
Before I sat down to write this, I had a quick look at Beth at Miaow's Meredith review. Her take on The Kills is spookily the same (down to the Cousin It comparisons) as what I was going to say. Bugger it, here's what she wrote...
They were posturing American crap. Actually, they were repetitive posturing American crap, which is also how you could describe me if you knew my lineage, but you don’t. You can get away with playing your guitar with nothing but samply stuff and a pouting Cousin It to help you, but you’ve got to be good. You shouldn’t have to thow in robotic guitar playing movements and simulated sexual tension. Nor should you think that looking angst ridden whilst moving in a feline manner is going to help either. Jeeez. They bored me rigid.
So so ho hum hip hop straight from New York. Marred by mixing desk gremlins causing vocals to only come out of the left side for two to three songs.

Bollywood Craptacular
First a couple of kooky lookin', kooky smilin' wacky arse sikhs bang their drums for several minutes. Then a bunch of amateurish dancers do their kooky stuff for the next seven hours. Kooky.

Stephen Malkmus And The Jicks
I was struggling at this point of proceedings. Malkmus' nine minute jams on songs I never liked in the first place, weren't making things any better.

Billy Childish And The Buff Medways
Brilliant, just as I guestimated. When I grow up I really want to be Billy Childish. I've already erected an eisel in the backyard.

You Am I
The biggest performance of the weekend. Made Wolfmother look like a bunch of curly haired twits. Honest, dirty and bittersweet rock'n'roll.

I was under heavy sedation at the time.

The Avalanches DJ Show
Here's me at The Pink Flamingo.... "Let's go down and dance to the Avalanches! They're playing Talking Heads! Come on! Let's go down and dance to the Avalanches! Come on!" Nobody would. Instead, a few of us thought it would be a good idea to go to someone else's campsite "soiree" which was nowhere near as fun as dancing to The Avalanches.

The "soiree" consisted of a bunch of humorless blokes trying to indulge in a guitar/harmonica/squeezbox jam. For so late in the night, these blokes were playing way too tentative. Frustrated, I snatched the harmonica player's instrument off him, gave it a wipe and blew the "soiree" away with one of the most brilliant, most soulful and most gorgeous harmonica solos ever performed in the history of earth.

Did the "soiree" duly appreciate my genius?

Drunk Girl: "That was amaaaazing."

Humorless Bloke #1: "It was a bit loud. We do have friends trying to sleep around here."

Drunk Girl: "I've never heard such..."

Humorless Bloke #2: "Yeah, I think it's time we called it quits for the night."

Matt Walker and Ash Davies
Due to the extended search of my campsite for the little bit of dignity I have left (which was misplaced somewhere during the "soiree"), I missed all of Matt & Ash's set but the last bit of All By Myself.

Quote Of The Weekend
Top mate and sound mixer to the stars, Simon Banko was getting peeved by the wonderful Okkervil River's crappy mix.
Words that may never be said again.....

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Is the age Robert Johnson, Hank Williams, Otis Redding, Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and Chris Bell were when they died.

Photo of the good lookin' Hank Williams from Wikipedia.

Peurile Gallows 'Joke' Slipped Into Wikipedia

In the same week online encyclopedia, Wikipedia has copped flack over hoax entries, a peurile attempt at humor appeared inside the detailed entry for Crips founder and recently executed Stanley Tookie Williams.
On December 12, Schwarzenegger denied clemency for Williams. In his denial, Schwarzenegger cited the following:

"The dedication of Williams' book Life in Prison casts significant doubt on his personal redemption...the mix of individuals on [the dedication] list is curious'...'but the inclusion of George Jackson on the list defies reason and is a significant indicator that Williams is not reformed. I am the terminator. Prepare to die.'"
The 'joke' will most likely be pulled from Wikipedia in the next few hours.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

When I Grow Up I Want To Be Billy Childish

One more sleep until Meredith. Yay!

Make sure you catch Billy Childish and the Buff Medways. Going by last night's gig at The Tote, Billy's going to tear that little farm outside Meredith to pieces. Especially look out for a couple of covers which are so so so right for getting a festival crowd jumping.

If only last night's support, The Breadmakers were on the Meredith bill.

Photo from The Age.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The World Of Kane Very Able

The guy who does The World Of Kane is into a lot of stuff I'm into.

Who isn't into high boots, wacky furniture design and stupid record covers?

Besides, any blog thingy which talks up the jerky New York accents and rocking soundtrack in The Taking Of Pelham 123 has to be worth following.

It's Time To Fire Up Firefox

Most of you still persist with the lunky and hideously vulnerable to security attack, Internet Explorer. It's time to switch to the recently upgraded Firefox.

Don't worry about your boss. Firefox is free for everyone, yes that's everyone including companies, to use. I don't get why Firefox isn't standard in the Australian workplace. It's strange. IT Managers swear by it on their work and play computers but can't seem to convince the rest of their workplaces to switch over.

And don't worry about losing your bookmarks during the changeover. Firefox does it all for you.

In the www's olden days a new web browser release was kind of special. Like giddy pop fans, we would count down the days before we could download the latest Netscape Navigator. When that day came we'd fire up Trumpet Winsock, and ftp like crazy until the early dawn.

Then Internet Explorer happened.

Most of us got lazy. Internet Explorer came already installed on Windows 95 so why bother with another browser? Internet Explorer got lazy too, without a big upgrade for yonks. It's so 1997!

If you already run Firefox, it's a good time to upgrade to the new version. Firefox 1.5 runs smoother than previous and most importantly prevents the popups which were starting to fool the alleged "popup free" browser. And my fave extension, "Add Bookmark Here" works with the new version.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. The new Firefox runs much smoother on my second machine, my pretty blue G3 Mac. Much better than Safari.

You can get Firefox by following the light blue advertisement to the right hand side of this page.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Miaow, Alex Papps Is Back!

Everywhere I went this weekend I caught up with and accidently bumped into friends from my olden days. Weddings and barbeques are good like that.

Of the many I said, "Sheesh, it's been a long time," to is old university chum, rock star and boating enthusiast, Beth Proudley, whose blog thingy, [m i a o w] the cat is bigger (878 entries to my tiny 258!), and much better looking than mine.

Talking of bumping into people from ye olden days....

Get this.

Friday night and a small group of us were outside a restaurant, talking up 80's heart-throb, Alex Papps. And Jeff, my mate who's toured with Keanu, mentions he's met Papps through an old friend a few times. Funny Papps stories ensue and then we go inside to eat.

Ten minutes later we're sitting in the restaurant waiting for entrees and who walks in?


And Jeff did know him. As we were leaving Jeff started talking to the Papps. They talked for a long time. Papps tells Jeff he's about to sign on to do an extremely popular kids TV show.

The Papps is back.


Friday, December 02, 2005

Okkervil River: They're So Hot Right Now

Two foriegn bands played in Melbourne last night. One is the best touring, live rock'n'roll band in the world right now.

The other is Oasis.

With three or four encores (I lost count, delirious) Okkervil River were incredible at Ding Dong last night. Don't dare miss 'em.

Oh yeah front bloke, Will Sheff is doing an acoustic thing at the Old Bar next week.

Here's a piss-funny/beautiful bit of the band bio written by Sheff on Okkervil River's lovely lookin' website...
I sat in the woods for hours. I listened to nothing but the Incredible String Band for a whole year. I became convinced the world would end in 1995. I became unconvinced of that. Seth said one day the world would shake us all like dog water. He later got arrested for drawing a stick figure picture of a bankrobbery in Mascoma Savings, but was released because he promised to take lessons with the police sketch artist. It felt like nobody had ever been alive before. Friends around us sank into delirium. My father asked that the school not expel me as a personal favor. Meanwhile we were making masks and holding secret ceremonies and trying to chase God out from beind the houseplants, beautiful and just as pretentious as we. And we played music under a thousand different band names.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

What I Learnt From My Keanu Kerfuffle

I stumble across news my fave living writer, James Ellroy is working on a new film called The Nightwatchman. Then I read Keanu Reeves is going to play the lead role. Keanu as me?


Two celebratory postings later, The Nightwatchman Movie: The Good News And The Bad News and Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment? and I move on to things a little more interesting like plugging my friend, Nick Jones' book sculptures to Neatorama

Neatorama link here to The Nightwatchman and wahey, if about six hours 100 people come here to check out his stuff.

For a smalltime blogger bloke like me, this is a top result. Links from bigger sites like Neatorama are rare and only when I send an email update to friends I get over 100 visitors in the day. It's taken quite a lot of hard work to get the almost 700 regular visits I get monthly.

Then on Sunday morning the visitor statistics exploded.

500 freakin' visitors in eight hours.

And they ALL came to read Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment? - which was posted on the front pages of Keanuweb, Club Keanu and a couple other fansites.

With over 2000 fans visiting my site in only three days, my newfound attention hasn't been totally bodacious.

Here's what I've learnt...

Keep an eye on your comments bit.
See here and here. Some of my readers' comments could have landed me into a huge defamation suit.

Spell out what other sites can and can't do with your content.

While they meant well, a few fansites cut'n'pasted my entire stories onto their sites without proper attribution. Merely stating your site runs on a Creative Commons license doesn't quite cut it.

Stick with what you're good at.

If I wanted to get thousands of visitors a day I could turn this into a fully fledged celebrity site. But that's not what I dig.

From looking at my visitors' clicking behavior I can say that people who come through the quick celebrity route only look at the one story they're after then they get the hell out. Keanu fans did just that while visitors who came via Neatorama looked at over three other pages per visit.

Get a better web counter.

Until this weekend Statcounter's been perfect. Its big flaw is that you can only check out visitor behavior for the last 100 page impressions. Want more and you have to pay them. Lucky I was saved by installing the new Google Analytics thingy last week.

Fame and celebrity is fleeting.

Keanuweb, the site which brought me all these thousands of visitors disappeared off the side of the earth yesterday. Yes, that's right. I'm back to 25 visitors a day.

I wonder what would happen if a really big site like Boing Boing linked to me?

Sunday, November 27, 2005

An Apology

Keanu Reeves yesterday.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

NeatOrama! That's What He's Building In There!

A big 'ello to all who've come here from the wonderful popart culture site, Neatorama to check out Nick Jones' olden day book sculptures.

As I've said previously, Melbourne sculptor, Nick Jones has been making pretty thingies out of old books for the ten years I've known him.

Some old PR guff reckons...
Using a compendia of old books and pamphlets found in the bins of the University of Melbourne library, he creates an archaeology of texts that presents a nostalgic view of 1950s and 60s literature regarding Australia and the world. Combining elements of chance and modern design, the works resemble a sculptural form of concrete poetry that create a new perspective on the past.
Details of a more recent Jones exhibition than the one spoke about earlier this year can be found at the Linden Centre of Contemporary Arts site.

Thanks NeatOrama!

Friday, November 25, 2005

Keanu Reeves: Time For A Reassesment?

On reading that Keanu Reeves is to play the lead role in the new James Ellroy film, The Nightwatchman, I thought I’d better have another look at the man, the actor and Renaissance Poet.

First, he cops a lot of flack about Bill & Ted’s Whatever Adventure. But other than that he’s appeared in over 40 movies. He’s got to be more than an alright actor if they keep asking him back.

And there’s a lot of you out there who love The Matrix movies. Me? Couldn’t understand the first one. Maybe I was having a bad brain day but nothing’s going to get me back there.

I think Tony Curtis summed it up in Sweet Smell of Success, “That’s yesterday’s fish. And I’m not buying it.”

He also cops a bunch of flack over his musical career with his band Dogstar and that other band he had with Johnny Depp and The Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes.

In the late 1990’s Dogstar toured Australia. Their tour support was indeed your friend and mine, Jeff Samin’s rock’un’roll band, Musket. I’ve heard nothing but positive road stories about that tour. But I’m afraid I can’t tell you any. What happens on the road, stays on the road.

According to Wikipedia:

He was born in Beirut, Lebanon.

Unlike many actors of today, Reeves is known to defer salaries if it means getting another actor for the film. He deferred his salary for The Devil's Advocate so Al Pacino could be cast, and The Replacements for Gene Hackman.

He is reportedly fond of chess, motorcycles, ice hockey, and plays a ferocious game of ping-pong.

He does not have (by 'Hollywood' standards) many possessions and keeps his life uncluttered.
So is Keanu Reeves up to playing me in The Nightwatchman? I’ll tell you when they show me the first rushes.

What do you think about Keanu Reeves? Is it time we start talking up the big guy as a good actor and bodacious dude? Click the comments thingy and tell us all about it!

I've done some digging about Keanu's Dogstar tour with me mate Jeff's band, Musket. Unlike some of the rockdogs in his band, Keanu was quite a quiet guy on tour.

"Nice guy. Much better bass player than actor," Jeff exclusively tells The Nightwatchman.
"I accidently gave him the master copy of the album we had just recorded. I only realised this after the tour had finished when Keanu left some messages on our home answering machine offering to swap the cd for a copy."

"Then a dickhead housemate erased all the messages so I lost Keanu's mobile number. All credit to him, though. He did his best to get the cd back to me."

The Nightwatchman Movie: The Good News And The Bad News

My favorite living writer, James Ellroy is working on a screenplay adaptation of this very website!

So what's the bad news? The Nightwatchman will be played by Keanu Reeves.

Photo of James Ellroy from Wikipedia.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Twisted Sister Old And (Still) Embarassing

From this week's Popbitch...
Last week, Twisted Sister performed in Brighton. During the show, frontman Dee Snider of Twisted Sister gives a shout-out to the crowd, saying "The balcony is where all the REAL sick motherfuckers are. They can't even stand up by show time. Let's have the house lights up to see them!"

The House lights are raised... and the band and audience find themselves looking back at the disabled section of the crowd, full of fans in wheelchairs.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Link Wray Passed Away

If there was ever a bloke who could make his guitar sound like gasoline in the sand, it was Link Wray.

The big guys agree:
"He is the King; if it hadn't been for Rumble, I would have never picked up a guitar." - Pete Townsend
"If I could go back in time and see one concert it would be Link Wray and His Raymen" - Neil Young
"Rumble is the best instrumental ever.” - Bob Dylan
Dylan opened his set at the Brixton Academy last night with Rumble (yes, click it and you'll hear a bootleg of the performance!).

Also, you can listen/download some of Wray's instrumental hits and read more about the power chord rock master at PCL LinkDump.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Uruguay Down And Now For The World Scrabble Championships

Australia has two players in the top ten after eight rounds of the World Scrabble Championships in London. Melbourne Scrabble Club's (my club!) Andrew Fisher is coming fifth and would be coming second if he didn't lose to clubmate, Naween Fernando who's coming 13th.

At scrabble club I've played many games against Andrew and only once come within 20 points of him. I've played Naween only twice and he beat me by around 60 points each time. Andrew has taught me quite a lot about Scrabble and is a top bloke. I really hope he wins this.

Another Melbourne based player, wunderkind 16 year-old, David Eldar's tall poppy's been cut in his first World Championship. He's coming 74th.

Game highlights, transcripts, commentaries and a webcam can be seen at the World Scrabble Championships website.

West Wing Coming To Our ABC

Crikey reported yesterday that the ABC has bought the rights off Channel 9 for The West Wing.

Two hopes.

They repeat the series before Rob Lowe leaves the show. Channel 9 fart arsed so much with the timeslots I kept missing episodes so much to the point I stopped watching the show.

The ABC don't play it the same night as the brilliant, 100 Centre Street because if we've sat through an episode of The West Wing without adbreaks and then put ourselves through an hour of watching Alan Arkin act his pants off, our brains may well explode.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Photo from The Herald Sun.

Our Greatest Moment

The second greatest sporting moment in my lifetime.


We're in!

By qualifying for Germany 2006, we've gained world respect not even one hundred wars can forge.


At last!

Now, look again at the absolute poignancy of the photo above (from The Herald Sun). Marco Bresciano's just kicked the goal but he's stunned, staring into space.


For Harry Kewell, over 8 years of hard work on the field (and even harder work off it), is starting to pay off.

And boy, didn't Harry work hard last night.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I'm A Large Sphincter Nerd

Just worked out these anagrams using a program called Anagram Genius. Some of these are accurate and others, downright spooky. I've no comment on the first.

Glenn Richard Peters anagrams to I'm A Large Sphincter Nerd.

Jeffrey Roderick Samin anagrams to Major If Fiery Rednecks.

Paul McGarry anagrams to Crap! Ugly arm.

Myf Warhurst anagrams to Wry Farts Hum.

John Winston Howard anagrams to Join Harsh Downtown.

George Bush anagrams to 'O, He Buggers!'

Whitney Houston anagrams to 'Shut It Now, Honey!'

Wayne Carey anagrams to A Racy Weeny.

Dolly Parton anagrams to Dynatrollop.

Kylie Minogue anagrams to 'I Like Guy On Me.'

Rod Stewart anagrams to Worst Dater.

Paul McCartney anagrams to Pay Mr Clean Cut.

The Beatles anagrams to Let Hates Be.

And my favorite.... Brian Wilson anagrams to Slow In Brain.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Herald Sun Stealing My Ideas

I can't believe this photo from today's Herald Sun.

Look at the eerily similar photo which appeared on on this site two weeks ago. And they didn't even bother to mask the fish's identity.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

What Anton Newcomb Did On Thursday October 13th

I can't get enough of The Brian Jonestown Massacre's Anton Newcomb's blog thingy.

Here's Newcombe's reply to a bloke who asked if he had anything better to do than cut n' paste news stories about George Bush all day and night.
i wrote 3 songs today fuckwad.
i also walked in the rain to buy a slow cooker so my son could have warm soup.
i also set up a new record deal for japan.
i also worked on solving this problem with people stealing gear,paid off debts,bought socks,took good friends out to drinks,shoped for food,went to the doctor to correct a hurt neck...oh you fucking little shit!i rebuke thee vile e-mail satan!

i can multitask cunt.
All of Brian Jonestown Massacre's records can be downloaded free from their official website.

The Funbird Mk II As Driven By James Bond

Thanks to my sister, the rubber ducky tester I am now the proud driver of an '85 900 Saab GLE.

It's an excitement machine (unlike Brisbane band, 78 Saab), similar to that driven by James Bond in the 1980's!

Now for some important caveats:
  • Bond drove the 900 Turbo.
  • The Funbird Mk II hasn't got a turbo.
  • Bond never drove a Saab in the movies. He only drove Saabs in the dodgy Bond novels published in the 1980's.
  • These novels were NOT written by Ian Fleming.
  • The Funbird guarantee still stands.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Local Shops Replaced By Activity Centre And Entertainment Precinct By Dweeb Councillor

Friends and longtime readers of this site would know of my hassles of being Glenn from Glen Waverley and that I went to Glen Waverley High School, the school adjacent to The Glen shopping centre.

Today I was sent an electioneering letter from local councillor, ex-Glen Waverley High student and dweeb, Cr Geoff Lake (pictured above) containing this illuminating paragraph entitled, A Vibrant Glen Waverley Central For Everyone:
"Geoff has played a key role in driving the dramatic development of the Glen Waverley Activity Centre into the dynamic and bustling retail, restaurant and entertainment precinct it is today. He is passionate about seeing it develop further and offer something for all ages."
You read it right. The Glen is not called The Glen anymore. According to Cr Lake, it shall be now known as the GLEN WAVERLEY ACTIVITY CENTRE.

Well, fuck me.

Oh yeah, I must be getting known for my Glenn from Glen Waverley schtick because I noticed someone came here by doing a Google search for "Glen Peters Glen Waverley" a couple of days ago.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Thanks Again Mr Go Between!

As I've said before, The Go Betweens' Robert Forster is the best music critic I've read in years. It's worth buying The Monthly just for his record reviews.

This is from his current review of the new Rolling Stones album:
And just as importantly, who is going to record them?

That's another obstacle - the clash between Keith's "are you sure Otis Redding did it this way?" and Mick's "let's get adventurous and bring in The Dust Bothers " approaches. The outcome has invariably been a safe pair of hands at the control board, such as LA journeyman Don Was, to placate them both, when what the Stones really need is a good producer.

God, do they need a good producer. They need someone to limit Keith to two guitar tracks per song, someone to stare down Jagger when he does his "girl-you-put-the-scratches-on-my-back" gibberish, someone to mike Charlie Watt's s drums properly. They need someone who will look at the band and say: "You're the Rolling Stones. You don't have to follow anyone."

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Could Bomber Beazley Be Jailed The Next Time He Plays Guitar In Public?

Who could forget the sad site of Kim Beazley on guitar, singing Blowin' In The Wind during an election campaign radio interview?

Next time, if the new Sedition laws pass, a performance of Bob Dylan's Masters Of War (from the same album Blowin' In The Wind comes from) could put Beazley in jail for seven years.

The law Beazley will break will be that of Seditious Intention where it will be illegal to:
  • bring the Sovereign into hatred or contempt
  • to urge dissafection against the Constitution, the Government or Commonwealth or either House of the Parliament
  • to urge another person to attempt, or otherwise than by lawful means, to procure a change to any matter established by law in the Commonwealth
  • to promote feelings of ill-will or hostility between different groups so as to threaten the peace, order and good government of the Commonwealth
Masters Of War is an anthem of Seditious Intention, where Dylan fiercely damns the company men and politicians behind the horrors of war and hits them with this...
When your death takes its toll,
All the money you made,
Will never buy back your soul.

And I hope that you die,
And your death'll come soon,
I will follow your casket,
In the pale afternoon,
And I'll watch while you're lowered,
Down to your deathbed,
And I'll stand o'er your grave,
'Til I'm sure that you're dead.
Last year a school band in Colorado were questioned by the US Secret Secret Service for performing the same Bob Dylan classic.

God Save The Queen by The Sex Pistols would be another no-no.

Wear's The Beef?

What am I going to wear?, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

A Boing Boing reader found this tasty typo on Yahoo/Reuters yesterday.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.

Washington's department stores have been innundated with ladies trying to find the shoes to match.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Sack The Ad Agency, These Workplace Law Reform Ads Will Work

If you wanna see what these posters looked like before I applied my dodgy photoshopping skills to them, check out the US Manufacturers Association Blog.

By the way, in a recent Crikey story on the government department behind the Work Choices ads, "The IR ads flop – we name the guilty men," I was surprised Christian Kerr didn't mention Dewey & Horton, the advertising agency who made the ads. This is an agency with longtime links to the Liberal Party and is especially known for its 'no bullshit' approach to advertising.

With riddling phrases like "Protected By Law" and "Max.Ordinary Hours" the IR ads can hardly be described as 'no bullshit'. Plagued with poor punctuation, perhaps but hardly 'no bullshit'.

Friday, October 28, 2005

One Of The Best Jobs In The World, Ever

The Starlight Children's Foundation is looking for a Wishgranting Coordinator to "Brighten the lives of seriously ill and hospitalised children."

Yes, you can be THAT person.

Based in Melbourne, you will look after all all aspects of the Wishgranting program, talking to children, families, doctors, volunteers, donors, sponsors... the whole special shebang.

Find out more at my Interesting Jobs website.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Phillip Adams Interviews Kurt Vonnegut

On today's Late Night Live.

You can download an mp3 from the program's website or here when the ABC link expires.

I'll tell you more about the interview when I've finished listening to it.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Boars of Berlin

The city of Berlin has a wild pig problem. Each year the 30 hunters employed by the Berlin city council are called upon to kill more than 900 pigs in the streets of the city.

Here's an audio link to a folkloric and sometimes ghastly Radio National documentary where the reporter went on a pig hunt, met a meat obsessed chef and a local church minister who's struggling to keep the boars from digging up his cemetary's graves.

Who said Radio National was boaring?

Monday, October 24, 2005

A Reader Sends In His Latest Catch

I bought a copy of Fish Victoria's new Land Based Fishing Guide to Port Philip and Corio Bays at the fishing show yesterday. If you don't own a boat, it's hard to find honest and current advice to fishing the bay. This does just that, mapping and describing almost all of the bay's many piers, beaches and breakwaters.

Later in the day I fished at Port Melbourne and may or may not have caught a 71cm Barracouta. Met a bloke there who...and I really can't believe this.... goes fishing because its "a great way to pick up chicks."

"See that chick over there? She's one of the hottest chicks in Port Melbourne. Bitch. I was talking to another chick who I had already rooted and she comes right up to me and kissed me on the cheek. Next time I see her I'm with my Dad fishing and she pretends not to know me.

I know her. I remember all of them by their dogs. I know their dogs better than they do. Now the bitch is walking over there with a guy.

Should I go over to her?

Maybe she won't recognise me because I don't have my sunglasses on. She's never seen my eyes. Yeah, I'm going over there. The schmuck she's with won't have a clue what's going on."
At least he was impressed with my fish.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

When Bets Are Off, The Game's Off

Trinquet is a cross between squash and tennis. Gambling is central to the obscure Valencian sport, so much so that if a bet isn't made, the game is cancelled.

The bloke in black is this game's official bookmaker.

Photo by Pablo Argente, the Bunol based photographer who took the messy photo of in my previous story about 2005's De La Tomatina Massacre. He recently emailed to tell me that he now has a blog thingy.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Nightwatchman, Big In Japan

I'm chuffed.

With visitors from not only Australia, Britain and the United States, but from Canada, Spain, Singapore, India, Denmark, Uruguay, Egypt, Japan, Portugal, Indonesia and freakin' Nepal, this little website/blog/thingy has had its best month yet.

Way over twice as many people have visited The Nightwatchman in October than ever before.

This keeps up and I'll top the readership of The Age's business gossip column, Value Added.

Oh, that many? Looks like I already have.

Big thanks to all of you wise people who keep coming back.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Was J.R Ewing A Romanian Freedom Fighter?

You've read of how Dallas was beamed into the New Guinea Highlands, now for the story of how the screening of Dalllas into Romania could have helped overthrow their dictator, Nicolae Ceausescu.

The nice guy who played J.R Ewing, Larry Hagman once told People Magazine:
“Ceausescu had put three hours on TV—two were of political speeches, and one hour was an episode of Dallas—to show the corruptness of America. The people saw that and said, hey, why don’t we have that? So they took him out and shot him.”
Reason Magazine's Matt Welch went to Romania, stayed at a Dallas themed hotel and spoke to the some of the country's top film directors to find out how much of Hagman's story is true.

Unfortunately, not much. In fact, for most of Ceausescu's rule the public Romanian television was reknowned for its local and imported content. It was only in the last throws of the dictator's rule when TV was reduced to three hours a day to save money on electricity when imported shows were considered too expensive to run.

Romania's head programmer at the time, Ion Ionel told Welch that he saved the screening of Dallas with the cunning plan to sign Dallas on an "absurdly long term contract," with the show's distributors. Eventually Dallas was axed 71 episodes later, when the contract ended in 1981.

Almost ten years later in 1989 and days after Ceausescu was shot, Dallas was one of the first shows to get back on air.

Link to Matt Welch's full article.

Band Wanted: Screamers, Not Dreamers Need Only Apply

Boing Boing reader, Lawgeek found this flyer.

Pity my 'death metal screams' aren't quite up to a standard to go for this. I'm more of a power metal wail type of guy.

Used to work with a bloke called Nick who does a very good gore metal growl. He was really useful to have around at the footy.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Roy & HG's John Doyle Is Far Too Smart And Funny For Anyone's Boots

"I remember reading some years ago about the series Dallas being beamed in to the New Guinea highlands. It was being viewed by mountain tribal people who were just a generation removed from First Contact, people who’d had little or no connection with European society at all apart from the odd Christian missionary."

"Tim Flannery recalls seeing a burial service in the highlands whereby the deceased was picked up and swung over the grave with the family and onlookers solemnly chanting the incantation ‘In the name of the Father and of the Son and in the hole he goes’."

"What were they to make of Dallas? A highly camp styled vacuous rich oil family living the life of Reilly in a bed-hopping fun-filled soap operatic adventure, laced with stylized irony. Probably the highlanders saw it differently - a lifestyle that was heaven on Earth. Irresistible. Vast houses, huge cars, heated pools, money, booze, guns and loose women. And no morality to speak of. Ancient and modern cultural universes brushing against each other. Again a cataclysmic event."
From John Doyle's magnificent speech at this year's Andrew Olle Media Lecture. You can download it as a mp3 or read the transcript at the ABC website.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Why I'm Still The (Unemployed) Beaver

I have no job, interesting or otherwise.

The economists reckon I should have a job by now 'cos it's a 'jobseekers market'.
The government reckon it's because I'm failing to meet my mutual obligations.
The pundits at Crikey reckon it's because I was once a unionist.
The people at the gym say it's because I'm not doing enough reps.
John Lennon reckons it's because I'm a dreamer but luckily I'm not the only one.
The mystics believe it's because I'm cursed.
Mark Latham reckons it's because my parents never read to me and that I'm a suckhole.
Nobody cares what the federal opposition have to say of the matter.
Germaine Greer reckons it's because employers are scared of boys who refuse to 'grow up'.
The horoscopes reckon it's because my moon's got crabs.
Brian Wilson just guesses I wasn't made for these times.
Australian Idol's Mark Holden reckons he's seen me perform well but hasn't yet seen me take my performance to the next level.
The guy who fixes my tires reckons my career is only flat on the bottom.

I'm with the mystics.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Stubbsy Asks The Big Questions

Just heard this on Richard Stubbs' ABC 774 radio show.

STUBBSY: So, what sort of people come to your obesity clinic?

DOCTOR: Big people.

Smurf And Awe At New Smurfs Episode

In a stunning statement on the tragedy of children in war, Unicef have produced an episode of The Smurfs to show in their home, Belgium, where Smurfland cops a horrific bombing from above.

According to The Telegraph, the episode starts with the Smurfs singing and dancing their lovely little theme, birds fly by, rabbits hop around illy nilly and "without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky."

The poor Smurfs are smurfed by the terror of the explosions. Many die. The final scene shows a badly burnt Baby Smurf sobbing, surrounded by dead Smurfs.

Then the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."

Hendrik Coysman, managing director of The Smurfs' production company, IMPS, told The Telegraph, "That crying baby really goes to your bones."

Oh yeah, I've researched and written quite a lot of stuff about how children are affected by war and what we can do about it on World Vision's Stir website.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Who Cut The Cheese?

It wasn't me.

It was my sister, you know, the one who used to work at Advanced Hair Yeah Yeah and now works as a rubber ducky tester. She sent me the photo.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Children, I Mean Rock Stars, Say The Darndest Things

"I'd like to dedicate this song to you. It was actually written about me by my ex-girlfriend over there. Wanna dance?"
Nick Dalton at last night's Nick Dalton & The Gloomchasers CD launch

"The Ipod? It's like a mini fridge. With no fucking beers in it!"
Paul Weller in a recent Word Magazine cover story

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Those Dang Warhursts!

Don't know why it's taken so long to talk up top mate, Myf Warhurst's brillo work on ABC TV's Spicks & Specks.

Last night's show was especially nifty. Her confession to Darryl Braithwaite that as a five year old she would kiss his image on the television screen was oh... innnat nice.

Later on, other old mates (of Myf too) Merrick & Rosso's new show made its debut on Channel Ten. And who's listed on the credits as assistant producer and possibly (if my eyes were seein' right) made a cameo?

Myf's brother, Kit.

Those dang Warhursts!

All too talented and way too good lookin' I tells ya.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Dog Catcher, Full Training Provided (To You, That Is)

A stray dog, yesterday., originally uploaded by glennpeters.

From my obscure jobs site, But I Want An Interesting Job.

The Lost Dogs Home needs an Animal Control Officer to work the Darebin beat.

Duties include collection and impoundment of stray domestic animals (picking up felons), especially dogs and cats, permit inspections and animal business audits (hassling Mr Bigs), dog attack investigations (investigations, alright!), education (visiting schoolkids), park patrols and the general enforcement of the provisions of the Domestic Animals Act.

Forget The Bill, this is crime fightin'.

Monday, October 03, 2005

My Driving Horror

I've had bad luck in the car lately.


I felt something tickle the back of my neck. That's okay, it's gotta be a hair from my recent haircut. When I realised the 'recent haircut' took place a fortnight ago I looked into the rearvision mirror.

Big black spider crawls across my face, from right ear to under my lip.

All this happened while driving at 90k's.


Again driving at 90 but this time on my way home from a rock show. There's a few people standing on the side of the road ahead.

Two small dogs were thrown out of the dodgy Commodore I'm driving behind.

I swerve to miss the dogs and the people cheer. It happened too fast to take down number plates.

One of the dogs looked already dead when it hit the road.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I’m On My Way #2

What you'll be talking about in months to come.

New Melbourne band, Plug In City. Saw them play last night. Gobsmacked. Think Modern Lovers with a better lookin' front man than Mr Malkmus.

Last night was their 4th ever show. If they were in England, they'd be on the cover of NME next week.

After the show the drummer slipped into a Noiseworks t-shirt.

I'm not sure what to make of that.

I’m On My Way #1

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Nightwatchman Picks Fight With Meredith Scalper

As reported earlier, scalpers are getting away with selling Meredith Music Festival tickets for over three times their face value.

I found a scalper on Ebay and decided to email him. Here's what happened. (me non italics)
Stop scalping.
Been to the last 13 Merediths and I missed out on a ticket because of scumbags like you.
MMF organisers are being alerted to this as we speak.

Hi there,

I bought these (and other tickets recently) with the full intention of going - I have been to a number of Meredith shows. If you want a real answer, I have personal issues at the moment (with my wife) and after buying tickets for mates who can't afford to pay, I have to sell them.... Don't complain about not getting a ticket, they were available for weeks to buy.... Please, if you have concerns, then attempt to reasonable and communicate in a friendly manner and wait for a response before just unleashing at people.

thank you


And the same problems happened with your previous auctions for tickets to NRL Footy Show, AFL Footy Show, Foo Fighters Melb AND Sydney (over 10 tickets each show!!!) and The Falls Festival?

There's no need to lie about the tickets. Revise the prices down to face value. Ask for anything more and you are a scalper. It's that easy.


I am the sucker who buys the tickets (as the guy who works) and have learnt my lesson about buying for non-paying friends.....
Have you emailed every person who is selling Greenday tickets for $300 or NRL Grand Final tix for $500.... or Wiggles tickets etc etc.... No, I guess not...

If you want a ticket, I'll sell you one just so you stop emailing me....

"I am the sucker who buys the tickets (as the guy who works) and have learnt my lesson about buying for non-paying friends....."
If I was to believe you here (I don't), your friends have 3 months before the festival's on and you're already scalping their tickets on ebay. What a crap mate you would be.

"Have you emailed every person who is selling Greenday tickets for $300 or NRL Grand Final tix for $500.... or Wiggles tickets etc etc.... No, I guess not..."
Warped logic. Other scalpers have nothing to do with you scalping MMF tickets.

Scalping tickets is a low act. Especially for local community events like Meredith.

Read Chris Nolan's (it's his family farm the MMF takes place) story here and then justify it to yourself that scalping MMF tickets is an honorable way to make cash.

As I said before, sell for higher than face value and you're a scalper.

Tell a lie and you're a liar.

You're both.
If you want to keep up the fight against this scumbag his Ebay name is denvergift, his auction page is here and his email address is

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Meredith Music Festival Completely Sold Out


And I've got it written on my hand to go out to The Glen and buy a ticket tomorrow.

Imagine if Big Star do play Meredith and I miss out.

That would cap off a pretty fucking shithouse 2005.

Read more here.


This scumbag's scalping tickets on Ebay. He wants almost 3 times the asking price for them. Find him and burn his house down, kids!

Big Star's New Album Out Today

And most importantly, this is what it looks like.

Haven't heard it yet. Allmusic reckons Alex Chilton's songs are much like stuff from his mid to late 80's solo records, (I liked High Priest, so ner!) sweeter sounds come from Jody Stephens' songs and Stringfellow & Auer wrote a few jangly ditties for those who want something #1 Record-ish.

New Big Star album. They need to tour. Merideth mystery band perhaps? I know they've almost come several times. Please, Mr High. Please, say I'm not dreaming.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Rock's Rigmorole Of Faux Innocence

In his Guardian review of Martin Scorsese's new Bob Dylan doco, Simon Schama (the bloke who wrote and hosted the BBC's History of Britain series) nails it to how eloquent rock stars deliberately seem stupid in interviews.
Cut to archive; Dylan reads a newspaper; the headline yells "War Declared" (it's 1962). Cut to Dylan introducing a performance of Masters of War at the Town Hall in New York that same November (a few weeks after the Cuban missile crisis) by saying to the audience, "I got to sing you a song about something." Strum strum ... "I hope you die and your death will come soon." But hey, he insists he was never ever a political singer. Yeah, right. Look, Dylan, there you are, in a field in Greenwood, Mississippi, in 1963 with black civil rights workers, singing, "He's only a pawn in the game" about the man who killed civil rights pioneer Medgar Evers. Well, he shrugs, "To be on the side of people who are struggling doesn't necessarily mean you're political." Huh?
Rock'n'roll singers love this rigmarole of faux innocence, baiting some solemnly obtuse questioner who wants to shoehorn their subtleties into some sort of editorial. John Lennon used to have a field day with the ritual, turning his killer rabbit's face and scouser lilt on a hapless decoder of his lyrics: "I dunno, you tell me. They're just words, aren't they?"
Voice of America: Simon Schama on why Bob Dylan still matters

Friday, September 23, 2005

My Grand Final Joke

I was in the bank today and there were footy streamers and flags all over the place.

While cashing a cheque I ask the teller, "So, what are you doing for the Granny?"

Teller replies, "Dunno. If she doesn't leave soon, we're calling in Social Services."

I crack me up.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Aurgasm, An Eclectic Menagerie Of Aural Pleasures

Aurgasm is a flippin' brilliant music blogsite. The beautifully designed site is dedicated to finding the most "curiously different, yet simply enjoyable" music out there.

At the moment Aurgasm's running a special on the music of New Orleans.

Dixie Cups - Iko Iko
Although they're best known for "Chapel of Love", the Dixie Cups wrote 'Iko Iko' quite accidentally. After the musicians had gone home from a recording session, the women were doing some overdubbing and started singing "Iko Iko" among themselves, using only a chair, drumstick, Coke bottle, ashtray, and drums as accompaniment. And although its roots are identified with New Orleans celebratory rituals, the song emerged as a quirky pop hit.
aurgasm :: your favorite music you've never heard

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Just Say It's A Bunch Of Arse, Damnammit

Imagine you were an editor of an art magazine and one of your unhinged contributors pitches a controversial article.

Well, it's not really an article.

It's just a fresh turd smeared on the page.

Other than stupid, boring, poorly researched and a bunch of arse, there's many reasons to cite for refusing to publish the article.

Deakin University's decision not to publish Macquarie University Professor Andrew Fraser's Rethinking the White Australia Policy in their law journal was based on entirely on fears of the University getting done for racial vilification.

The University's Vice Chancellor, Professor Sally Walker told the ABC,
"Universities are not exempt from the law, nor should they should be, and I have sought legal advice regarding Associate Professor Fraser's article."

"The legal advice is that by publishing the article the university would contravene certain laws and I'm not prepared to put the university in that position."

Try stupid, boring, poorly researched and a bunch of arse as reasons not to publish.

Professor Fraser defended his article, saying it was approved by two other academics,
"Two academics not known to me looked at the article, suggested some changes which I made and then they agreed that it ought to be published."
Would these two academics possibly be the Deakin Law Journal's Editorial Board member, Professor Mirko Bagaric and senior lecturer Julie Clarke?

Yes, they were the reprobates who argued in a paper that torture is "morally defensible", should be made legal and when many lives are in imminent danger, "all forms of harm" may be inflicted on a suspect, even if this resulted in "annihilation".

Maybe Bagaric and Clarke are Deakin University's real problem. If they are the academics who approved Rethinking The White Australia Policy they should be sacked from the university.

Not sacked for their crackpot views or anything like that, but sacked as incompetent editors who were about to let such a stupid, boring, poorly researched, bunch of arse go to print.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Lester Bangs Meets Brian Eno In A Park

From a previously unpublished bunch of Brian Eno articles by rock critic/addict savant Lester Bangs.
My friend and I were sitting there discussing the comparative merits of various current purveyors of sonic aggravation, when suddenly I looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that Brian Eno walking this way?"

Sure enough it was: blonde hair already balding at thirty, alert blue eyes, sensual mouth, and functionally simple but expensive clothes. He came and sat down, cheery as ever with that bemused expression whose innocence can make him seem at various moments the seraphic artiste or cherubically childlike. Every time a pretty girl walked by, his head would swivel and he would comment admiringly, like either a kid at a parade or a guy who'd just got out of prison. I mentioned that I was getting ready to do a story on prostitution, interviewing call girls from a midtown agency that advertised in Screw, and he said: "I called for a girl in response to one of those ads once. It said 'Unusual black girls.' So I phoned and said, 'Just what do you mean by unusual?' They said, 'Just what did you have in mind?' I said, 'Well, I'd like one that was bald with an astigmatism.' 'Well, we'll see what we can do,' they said. They found the astigmatism but no the baldness."

"Why astigmatism?" I wondered.

"I'm terribly attracted to women with ocular damage."
Lester Bangs- Brian Eno: A Sandbox In Alphaville

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Caribbean Gardens Experience

Far off in a land they call Scoresby, there's a magical place called Carribbean Gardens.

Most people go there to buy counterfeit apparel and cheap cigarrete lighters at the trash'n'treasure market.

I go for there to wander about the park's 1970's space-age architecture kitsch, concrete wildlife and securely caged exotic bird collection.

The Caribbean Gardens Experience is an online exhibition of photos I've taken at this wonderous land.

Ah, Caribbean Gardens. More rubbish bins per square meter than any other public garden in the Southern Hemisphere!

The Caribbean Gardens Experience - a photoset on Flickr

Don't Let Your Mistakes Go Pubic

My fave bit in Harry Shearer's weekly radio show, Le Show is when, in his super duper deep voice, he reads the apologies bit in his local newspapers. Deadpan at its panniest.

Regret The Error is a site dedicated to reporting on and ANALysing the world's newspaper corrections, retractions and apologies.

Here's a few from this week.
An article on Aug. 28 about Jay-Z's transition from performer to recording executive misspelled part of the name of a hip-hop artist with whom Jay-Z had a meeting. He is Ghostface Killah, not Killer. New York Times

Contrary to a note published with Tuesday's Point of View article "RTP must be reworked," the writer, Yonah Freemark, is male. NewsObserver

An article in Business Day about Brendon Loy, the Notre Dame student who was one of the earliest to sound the alarm about the potential threat to New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina, misstated the name of Mr. Loy's dog. It is Robbie, not Becky (which is his fiance's name). New York Times

A front-page Political Memo article on Sunday about efforts by President Bush to head off a political crisis over his administration's handling of Hurricane Katrina misstated the city where he said he enjoyed himself "occasionally too much," a comment that was criticized as being insensitive. It was New Orleans, not Houston. New York Times

Monday, September 12, 2005

IMDB? Two Stars, Margaret

As a source for reliable movie reviews, IMDB bombs.

The 'user submitted' reviews often suck ten times as hard as the movie they're reviewing.

Here's a review of Michael Caine's classic (sic) 1981 horror, The Hand by user, stephanebordeauxmarseille.
"This is one of the most terrific movie of M Caïne. The music & noises are excellent. The cast is perfect, secondary actors and rednecks are really ugly. The story is a variation on the theme of the lizard tail. See this movie if you find it !"
Pauline Kael he aint.

I haven't yet found a movie review site that comes close to replacing my clapped out copies of Leonard Maltin's Movie Guide and Pauline Kael's 5001 Nights at the Movies.

Here's a few that try.

If you use iTunes and you know how to use the podcast thingy, Ebert and Roeper present a weekly radio show. I like Roger Ebert because he was the genius who wrote the screenplay to Russ Meyer's Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls.

Leonard Maltin does have a website called Movie Crazy, where he not only reviews the movies but also DVDs, movie books and soundtracks. The book reviews are especially tasty.

I thought The Muppets' Statler & Waldorf reviewing the movies would be piss funny. It's not.

And Rotten Tomatoes, a busy looking site which links to hundreds of newspaper reviews already on the net, is the best review site I've found so far.

Do you have a favorite? Click the comment thing below and tell me about it.

Friday, September 09, 2005

2005's De La Tomatina Massacre

No, this isn't the new Blood Duster record cover.

De La Tomatina is an tomato fight which takes place in Spain every year. There's no religious or ancient cultural meaning to the festival. It's just a lovely way to get rid of over 100 tonnes of overripe tomatoes.

This year, Pablo Argente took a few kilos of photos of the carnage with his tomato-proof camera.

The original Boing Boing post I found the photos through
De La Tomatina's official website
The Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Antony Obvious Winner Of Mercury Prize

Why wouldn't Antony and the Johnsons win this year's Mercury and Chris Bailey lookalike prizes. As I gushed earlier, I Am A Girl Now is a "very dramatic, very gay" masterpiece.

But watch it. Antony's record is so good, it can stuff up your Ipod.

To win, Antony beat pedestrian acts like Kaiser Chiefs, Coldplay and The Magic Numbers and according to the BBC, was apologetic about his triumph. "I am completely overwhelmed," he admitted. "I think it's insane, kind of a crazy contest between an orange, a space ship and a potted plant. Which one did you like better?"

More like a contest between a lemon, some space junk and a bunch of weeds.

BBC NEWS: Antony and Johnsons win Mercury
My previous post about Antony and the Johnsons

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Phew, Alex Chilton's Okay

From the Posies/Big Star forum:
I talked to a sibling of Alex today on the phone, and she too heard from him last night on the phone and tells me he is officially safe. She said she has "no details" about the coast guard being involved..

If he did get rescued by the Coast Guard, I'm glad because I called the coast guard's St. Louis national line twice starting Tuesday night to report his address (checking back Wed.), wrote a coast guard Homeport online report friday & got a case number, and saturday called the state police to check his house again.

However I have no information that leads me to think that my doing this caused him to get found because for all I know he was ok and just chose to go to the coast guard on his own. If I did help him, then great. It is horrible to think that they waited several days to get to his house when they told me Wed. they likely checked his house within hours of my first phone call. But maybe that is not the case since I have no details on the coast guard aspect of this at all and can't confirm that part that some are reporting to people about a rescue yesterday, but I hear it may be true.

One other little notation about the Coast Guard. When I phoned them at the St. Louis national center number on Tuesday night, the guy answering told me he knew alex's name and he mentioned the Replacements song.

The Posies ~ View topic - Alex Chilton

Spring Cleaning My Music Bookmarks

Bookmarks are like socks. There's nothing better than throwing them all out and starting new.

Every few months I delete all my bookmarks.

Here's my music folder from the past few months.

Ace Records
African Music: Salif Keita
All Music Guide
Big Star Reference
Olga Guitar Tabs
Otha Turner
Mac Streams
The Velvet Underground Webpage
UK Radio Stations on the Internet
All Ways Thinking


Monday, September 05, 2005

A Grown Man Cries. You Will Too

President of Jefferson Parish, New Orleans, Aaron Broussard is one of the strongest television interviewees you will ever see.

Jefferson Parish President in Tears Begs for FEMA Help"

Thursday, September 01, 2005

While Mr President's Guitar Gently Weeps

Country music star gives President guitar.

President attempts G-chord.

Country music star panics.

"Wrong fret, Mr President! Wrong fret! Everyone will think you're stupid. Don't strum! It will sound WEIRD! Don't strum!"

Picture from Yahoo originally found on Boing Boing. Yes, that is a presidential seal on the guitar.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Employers Too Picky Says Bigtime Recruiter

I've long suspected this.

According to a report in AdNews the candidate shortage in marketing and advertising roles can be blamed on employers themselves.

The most recent forecast by Hays Recruiting put the finger on 'the choosy nature' of employers.

Hays' Grahame Doyle told AdNews:
"Employers are very particular aboutthe specific skills set required for each role, which is creating demand for specific skills rather than for generic roles. Employers also seek candidates with experience in their sector, and in most instances are unwilling to comporomise on this factor."
And here's the no brainer...
"While they are being precise about their requirements, Doyle said employers will have to be more flexible if they want to fill in roles. "You can't have an endless list of criteria," he said.
Exactly. Stop asking applicants stoopid questions and just give them the job THEY CAN DO, damnammit!

But I Want An Interesting Job

It's Great When Yer Straight, Yeah

In my past life as a music hack I interviewed all sorts of boring rock twits. Pity I didn't get to speak to addict savant, Mr Shaun Ryder. The Times' Pete Paphides did.
"ARE we going to get any sense out of Shaun Ryder today? For ten minutes, it’s touch and go. Only half an hour late, he saunters into his local pub, removes his sunglasses and embarks on a rambling monologue about the grim industrial landscape that surrounds us: “Look at the smog! And the factories. And rats the size of cats! Everything smells of old eggs! Yer cannae get it out your nostrils!”

It’s not so much that the words don’t make sense, rather the broad Glaswegian accent in which the Mancunian delivers them, and the fact that Hadfield, League of Gentlemen country on the edge of the Peak District, has no factories. Cat-sized rats are also conspicuous by their absence."
Full story in The Times Online.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Ask A Stupid Question

Couldn't get enough of watching the cable news reporting on the hurricane last night.

Was it only me hoping to witness a flying sheet of metal decapitate one of those mucho on-the-spot reporters?

It didn't happen.


If only I caught this lovely bit of dumb journalist zen which did happen on Fox News earlier today.
REPORTER SHEPARD SMITH: You’re live on FOX News Channel, what are you doing?

MAN: Walking my dogs.

SMITH: Why are you still here? I’m just curious.

MAN: None of your fucking business.

SMITH: Oh that was a good answer, wasn’t it? That was live on international television. Thanks so much for that. You know we apologize.
And here's the footage: The Political Teen » Live on FOX: Man Says “None of Your Fucking Business” (VIDEO)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

There's a Fine Line

Just back from the football. Crap. At least the season's over now.

But the night wasn't all that bad. Before the footy, I went to see Martha Wainwright do an instore at Readings in Carlton. Farkin brilliant.

If you haven't got Martha Wainwright tickets yet.... Ohmygorrr. She was incredible.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

So You Wanna Be Iraq Star

Iraq's version of Idol isn't called Iraqi Idol. Instead it's called Iraq Star.


According to Alertnet "the studio set is spartan and drab, and there is no studio audience, though viewers are being promised tinseltown touches when the finale is held in Beirut."

And the judges are as picky as their Western counterparts.

One singer was recently berated for his singing about a dead bird, "You didn't prepare the song well. 'Slaughtered bird' is masculine, but you kept saying it in the feminine!"

Reuters AlertNet - Iraq "Pop Idol" offers escape from daily grind

Hammer Anvil And The World Bank Out Of Congo, The I Told You So Edition

At last the World Bank's insurance policy with Anvil Mining is being spoken about in the media (well, only the ABC) and officially investigated by the World Bank.

This website was the first asking questions as to why the World Bank approved their insurance deal with Anvil.

In an unpublished(!) letter to The Age on June 7, I wrote:
"Anvil's building of a small primary school and health clinic in the Democratic Republic of Congo, bragged about by the Anvil president, Bill Turner in the 4 Corners report are mandatory to ensure their newly approved insurance policy taken with the World Bank insurance agency, MIGA."

More importantly asked:

"Why and how did this arm of the World Bank approve "Political Risk Insurance" to Anvil only last month? (May). Surely the World Bank would have had some intelligence there was a question mark on the West Australian's potential link to the killings in Kilwa, last year."

And argued:

It is irresponsible for the World Bank to encourage any further mining in volatile countries like the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Only today, over three months since my unpublished letter, the deal between the World Bank and Anvil is being looked at and an investigation asking my exact questions is being described as Paul Wolfowitz's first great challenge in his new role as World Bank chief.

I rewrote and published my letter here at The Nightwatchman, where I'm proud it was read by a couple of hundred of people from around the world including people based in the Democratic Republic of Congo and the ABC.

It only took a couple of hours of googling and reading Anvil and the World Bank's websites to make the connection between the two bodies. I find it quite surprising journalists and especially those at The Age who had access to my letter not to make the connections between them.

I've written a TOLD YOU SO letter back to The Age.

Let's see if that gets published.

Monday, August 22, 2005

What Shall I Be? The Exciting Game Of Career Girls

From my careers site, But I Want An Interesting Job.

Getting good career advice has always been a tough gig. In 1966 the task was made so much easier for the ladies with the release of this terrific board game.

According to Bradley's Almanac, the blog which found the game in a mate's closet, the aim of the game is to be the first player to become either but only a teacher, actress, nurse model, ballerina or airline hostess.

And here's what badness can happen if you happen to pick up a bad chance card.
You are clumsy. Bad for Airline Hostess, Ballet Dancer, Model and nurse.
You get too excited. Bad for Airline Hostess and Nurse.
You are overweight. Bad for Airline Hostess, Ballet Dancer, and Model.
You don't speak clearly. Bad for Teacher and Actress.
Your make-up is too sloppy. Bad for Airline Hostess and Model.
You are a slow thinker. Bad for Airline Hostess and Nurse.
You have pox. Bad for Nurse, Airline Hostess and Model.
bradley's almanac

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Adopt a Chicken Today!

Cold Feet's Helen Baxendale reckons you should adopt a chicken.

While you're in the mood to save the world, check out Stir. It's the site I did a lot a stuff on for World Vision.

Monday, August 15, 2005

100 Rock Documentaries Piled Into The Lyrics Of One Song

Was blown away by Clint Eastwood's Piano Blues.

At last a music doco without superlative spoutin' experts. Just the
music mam.

Excellent stuff by Oscar Peterson, Pinetop Perkins, Otis Span,
Count Basie, Dr John, Dave Bruebeck, Fats Domino, Monk, and too
many others. Even more impressive was how sixty years of
footage could be seemlessly mixed into a ten minute, hip shakin'
earth quakin' boogie. Yep, technical boffin-ry made good.

Yes, I do spend a lot of time watching music documentaries. And
I'm here to tells ya, none will come close to explaining music's
power like the music itself.

Fat bearded, music critic blokes, friends of the family, Berkely riot
footage and songs cut just as they get interesting make me want
to throw up.

Which brings us to Paul Simon's Graceland. Listen hard to the
words and you get the history of American music, all in under
five minutes.

Here's a bit...

The Mississippi Delta was shining
Like a National guitar
I am following the river
Down the highway
Through the cradle of the civil war

I'm going to Graceland
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland